World Cup 2018 Panama Preview: The Dirtiest Players in the Game

Panama is an interesting team (on paper) because their World Cup tournament could go one of two ways. The first way is what most people are predicting: the oldest and arguably least talented squad in the tournament is going to finish last and will be lucky to score a goal.

World Cup Previews: England

I'm fully prepared for disappointment once again as a fan of England football; however, at least this year's edition of failure might well come with a slight dash of hope beforehand this time. The 2014 World Cup was one of the worst outings ever for the national team; a single point

World Cup 2018 Team Preview – Belgium

Ah, the misty water colour memmmmmories....Belgium gives Hippo all the feels.  Big Rom and Roberto Martinez, together again?  It's the last really hopeful period in Everton Lesser Footy history (before Martinez' fatal flaw at the EPL level - defensive indifference - kicked in, along with many, many defeats in the dying

World Cup 2018 Team Preview – Sweden

Whatever happened to the Swedish Bikini Team? I mean,  yeah,  they were really American models that were put together for an Old Milwaukee advertising campaign in the early 90s, but still... The eternal question remains: how hot are real Swedish girls? Um, yeah... so the answer is VERY. But this is a World Cup

2018 Copa Mundial Team Preview – México

As I type this,  México is playing Scotland in a friendly match in the Despedida for El Tri. The French would call it the Au Revoir or Bon Voyage game.  It has become tradition to play a last friendly before the World Cup at home to wish the players good

World Cup 2018 South Korea Preview: So you’re saying there’s a chance

*Scene opens to a pitch black room. All you can see is black and the sounds of an older man grunting* Old Man breathing heavily: Oh yeah, that little black dress is getting a little uncomfortable. Take it off, baby. *The sound of pumping Vaseline can be heard* OM: Oh yeah, almost there,

World Cup 2018 Costa Rica Preview: Mangoes FOAR All!

Costa Rica is a delightful Central American nation.  Friendly people, tropical weather without the bullshit Carnival Cruise tourismo atmosphere to trigger the shit out of one's white guilt.  I thoroughly enjoyed my Divorcemas trip there several years ago.  They have a saying for how the peoples live - "la pura

World Cup 2018 Brazil Preview: The Redeem Team

Brazil is a scary, scary team. In the 2014 World Cup, Brazil was in an awkward transition stage where the lost/disgraceful generation of Brazilian players stepped down for the new era of players to take over. Most notably, despite being 22 years old, Brazil became Neymar’s team. This in itself

2018 World Cup Team Preview – Nigeria

A random phone rings in a famous building...   White House Operator: Uh, hello? Mysterious Sexy-Voiced Protagonist: Yes, hello...I'm calling from Door Flies Open and looking to get some information on a foreign country. With whom am I speaking? White House Operator: This is Ivanka. MSVP (who is now obviously DFO): Wow, didn't expect that. Why

World Cup 2018 Croatia Preview: It feels a little like ’98

It seems like yesterday when I was a kid watching Croatia make their World Cup debut in 1998. I remember thinking their checkered jerseys were cool. Combine those sweet uniforms with Davor Šuker's cheeky skills and I was rooting for Croatia during their magical 3rd place finish. I think there is a great