CrimeBeat!: Thirty Days in the Hole Edition

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - August 23, 2016August 22, 2016

No time for love, Dr. Jones- let's get right down to it. BRING FORTH THE ACCUSED! PRESEASON MVPs CHARGE: Breach of promise OMG YOU GUYS DID YOU SEE DAK PRESCOTT! START HIM NOW! FUTURE EM VEE PEE! HOW BOUT THEM COWBOYS! GGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! /passes out, loses bladder control. Oh yes, boys and girls, it's that time

Your “Let’s Postpone This a Few Hours and Give Rob the Night Off” Open Thread

DFOing Good

Sill Bimmons - August 22, 2016July 12, 2017

So there I was, all amped up and ready. Ready for something I never thought I would do in a million years. Ready to write a DURR TEH NFL HAS IT IN FER TEH STILLERS HURR I was all set to flame the place down with HAWT TAKES about how Goodell has been

A Stupid, Pointless Game Played by Top Shelf Douchebags

jjfozz - August 22, 2016

The last time my father hit me was on a golf course. I was 30 and he was 64. I was on a golf course doing what I do on a golf course – losing my collective shit because golf is the stupidest motherfucking game in the whole goddamn world. This includes

Wading Toward a Repeat?

Team Previews

King Hippo - August 22, 2016August 22, 2016

Yes, it is my great pride and privilege to recap your 2017, DEFENDING SUPERB OWL L CHAMPION (nevar gets old saying that) Denver Broncos. If there has ever been a more extreme case of "playing with house money," it escapes my feeble, aged mind. Let's recap, shall we. The 2016 Donks

DFO Radio: Colorin’ Time with Eli

DFOing Good

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - August 22, 2016August 22, 2016

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I AM IN SO MUCH TROUBLE! So everyone did a really good job of requesting songs about color, but it ended up being such a huge playlist that when I downloaded it I used up all the data on our family plan and so I didn't

49ers 2016 Preview: a One-Sided Conversation with a Team Hero

Team Previews

Covalent Blonde - August 22, 2016August 22, 2016

Strolling along the sidewalk at the Rose Garden in San Jose as I head into town to pick up the ticket package for the upcoming hockey season I see a food truck with a familiar face peeking out through the window… “So you want a Philly cheesesteak? You look like a

Commentist Beer Barrel: Skål!

makeitsnowondem - August 21, 2016

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Denmark got a big Olympic win today, overcoming France for the gold medal in handball. I thought about burying the lede on this, in case any Commentists log onto the site while desperately avoiding Olympic handball spoilers, but... look, I just didn't think that was very likely, y'know? I'll apologize

Sunday Gravy with yeah right: I may be clinically insane to try this – Everything from Scratch Made Lasagne

laserguru - August 21, 2016August 21, 2016

Before we get started today I have a couple of quick announcements; one, you are in for a very special treat next Sunday (no hints) and numero dos, we only have a couple more issues of Sunday Gravy before we shut down for the NFL season. I know, I know but

Your Football-Centric, But Really, Just Have At It Saturday Afternoon/Evening Open Thread

scotchnaut - August 20, 2016

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Well, well, well. It would seem that we have a half-decent slate of games to nibble on before the usual Sunday feast. [time passes, like it always does] There are NO games tomorrow? None? It's as though the NFL is run by idiots of the first order, doesn't it? [sees thousands

Commentist Beer Barrel: It’s A Trappist!

makeitsnowondem - August 20, 2016

On spring break, in 2007, in a hidden-away bar in Brussels, there was a college junior, sitting with a group of new friends, listening attentively to the server's descriptions of the classic Belgian beers on offer. He didn't especially understand the descriptions, so he did what any college junior with no

EPL Week Two – Prepare to Embrace the Suck (and Special Litre_Cola Flavoured Treat!)

King Hippo - August 20, 2016August 19, 2016

Yeah, like everyone predicted...week one revealed all the assholes with money to be good. The only real surprise was dreadful Hull winning at Leicester, which just means there won't be the slightest bit of drama regarding the Foxes coming good in their second act. FYI - seeding in

Your “I Want Football And Boobs-Not Necessarily In That Order” Friday Night Open Thread

scotchnaut - August 19, 2016

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Aren't breasts of all kinds completely amazing in every way? Let me tell you about my latest experience that occurred just hours ago. I was at the grocery store and I was completely blown away by a perfect set. They were sticking out like a sore thumb at the deli