ELECTRIC EXODUS – The Final Showdown

SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA - DOWNTOWN - DAY BREAK BOLTMAN: WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN BOLTMAN'S DOMAIN. THE FAITHFUL CHARGED ONES MEANDER ABOUT THEIR PITIFUL, MORTAL LIVES AS ANOTHER LONG OFFSEASON BEGINS. BUT BOLTMAN MUST NOT WAIVER! [Shreds an air guitar solo] IT IS UP TO HIM TO ONCE AGAIN LEAD HIS LEGION

Historical Badasses: Simo Häyhä

Historical Badasses is a brand-new weekly offseason feature here at [DFO]; with 75% of teams now out of the running for the Super Bowl, it's prime time to start entertaining you with tales of some of the coolest people to ever walk the Earth. Each week we'll take a look

Your “‘Raining Money’ = Good; ‘Golden Shower’ = Bad; ‘Getting Hosed’ = Depends” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

To think what the Founding Fathers would say! I supposed Ben Franklin would approve, although he would have preferred French courtesans and older women. I'm not sure how the alt-left would have dealt with this. Urolagnia doesn't lend itself to offence like "Beta-cuck" did for the alt-right. Look for Drs Oz & Phil to have

The Best 69 to All of You

1/9/2017 I don't say much about me or mine. It's not interesting to me, until I talk about it, at which point everyone says "YOU SHOULD SAY SOMETHING!" ok...fine. Here goes. My dad was born 1/9, back in 1948. That makes him 69. So what. Except from the number and all that

A Team Without a Franchise Quarterback is Like a Patriots Team Without a Gritty, Scrappy, Lunchpail Type Guy Playing Slot Receiver

Editor's Note: This song, with minor tweaks, was composed by reddit user A_Participant, and I was so moved that I decided to package it along with some images.  Enjoy!  BILL BELICHICK The name's Belichick, Bill Belichick, and I come before you general managers tonight with a trade proposal.  Probably the greatest [turns

Your “I Gotta Wait Until Saturday for Football?!” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Welcome to the preliminary darkness of the off-season. NFL Notes: Jordy Nelson has two broken ribs. Expect him to be deactivated later this week, despite Mike McCarthy trying to game the Cowboys into prepping for him. I'm not a doctor, but even I know playing a WR with two broken ribs

CrimeBeat!: Guess Who’s Rewatching Archer Edition

Oh men. MEN! Like fetuses (feti?) experiencing the uncomprehending trauma and struggle of their own nativity, we have been pushed and squeezed and squished until we passed through the birth  canal  of the regular season and emerged, cold and slimy, into the pitiless bright light of the playoffs. And like

The only acceptable way to expand the NFL Playoffs

So, writers across the country are trying to fill space between playoff games by deriding Roger Goodell's idea for expansion of the playoffs solely because of this weekend's particularly sucky games.  Granted, it's an over-reaction, but any time anyone gives Roger Goodell shit for being a National Disgrace, it's also

Your “In Need Of Emergency Post, Break Glass” National Championship Open Thread

Wait, that doesn't seem right... That's more like it. NFL News: Doug Marrone will stick around the Jaguras, getting the "interim" removed from his title. And they've hired Tom Coughlin as an Executive VP of Football Operations. Depending on your perspective, Joey Porter had a good night or a bad night. That's