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Author: The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem
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“Save Us, Jameis!” and Other Signs of Desperation: Tampa Bay at the Bye
So the Roadrunner’s a dick, right? Wile E. Coyote has some issues of his own, no argument. The ancient Greeks wish they had come…
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Hey Rube: Your 2018 Buffalo Bills Season “Preview”
“So maybe there’s hope. Or maybe I’m going mad… In a nation ruled by swine, all pigs are upward mobile — and the rest…
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2018 Detroit Lions Preview: If It Sticks, Force It. If It Breaks, It Needed Replacing Anyway
Oh, you lovably chaotic Lions. Like the drunk toddler of the NFC North, you stagger into the coming season. No sense of what you’re…
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Why Not Zoidberg?!?: Detroit Lions Bye Week Update
RECORD: 3-3 PROJECTED RECORD: 4-2 So for the Lions Season Preview, I wasted your time with an extended discussion of Film. It thus seems…
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The Tyranny of Meh: Buffalo Bills at the Bye
RECORD: 3-2 PROJECTED RECORD AT THIS POINT: 1-4 So I was all set for it, right? It would be just like a normal Bills…
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HAPPY FUN BRAIN SCREAMING TIME: A Buffalo Bills Season Preview!
Holy shit, you guys, I can’t remember going into a Bills regular season so stoked about their chances to Make Some Noise since… well,…
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LIONS SIGN STAFFORD TO $135 MILLION CONTRACT
Quarterback intends to buy the entirety of the City of Detroit; unsure what to do with remaining $130 million
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CrimeBeat!: Detroit Lions Season Preview Edition
(Puts on Vince Mancini hat, dusts off Armond White’s seminal work, “Ethnic Frisson: Pretentiously Overbearing Pontification in Mid-Pre-Post-Modern Cinematic TruthBombing”) I am continually fascinated…
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BEARS LB FREEMAN SAVES STRANGER WITH HEIMLICH MANEUVER
“We know everything there is to know about choking” says five-year veteran.
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Jeremy Maclin Makes Huge Mistake
“I really wanted to fuck up my chance to make a real difference with a great team,” says the newly-signed Baltimore Raven receiver.