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Author: The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem
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Cleveland Roulette: Garrett or Trubisky?
So whose it gonna be? Whose luck finally runs out when the Browns turn in their draft index card thingy? Is it going to…
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CrimeBeat!: Bat Country Edition
No time for love, Dr. Jones- let’s get right down to it. BRING FORTH THE ACCUSED! PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA CHARGE: Indecent exposure With apologies to…
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CrimeBeat!: Buy the Ticket, Take the Ride Edition
Good men and women of DFO, rejoice, for I have heard your cry. Deep in my Timeless Slumber, though empires and eons passed me…
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49ers GM Invites Scorned Raider Fans to “Come and Jump On Our Train”
Invitation seen as an olive branch to woo back lucrative Hobo Demographic lost after Tomsula firing.
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OWNERS APPROVE RAIDERS’ MOVE TO LAS VEGAS BY 31-1 VOTE
“Why can’t we get that kind of solidarity behind naked greed?” asks Paul Ryan
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Jason Pierre Paul Signs Four-Year Deal With Giants
Contract is actually for three and a bit years, because that’s as high as he can count now.
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CrimeBeat!: Gift Horse Edition Part I
So, over the last year of doing this “column,” I have bitched on numerous occasions in the past about how desolate and bereft of…
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CrimeBeat!: Breaking News Edition
WE NOW INTERRUPT YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED “HARD RIDE TO NOWHERE” TO BRING YOU THIS SPECIAL REPORT: Ladies and gentlemen, good evening. I have the…
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CrimeBeat!: Whistling Past the Graveyard Edition
/closes eyes, pinches bridge of nose, puffs out cheeks and blows out breath. Ok. Ok. You can do this, Mayhem. //opens eyes, stares at…