Feeling Hot, Hot! HAWT – Offseason Sunday Open Thread

Don T - May 21, 2023May 21, 2023

On January 2, 1994, the Houston Oilers were leading the Jets 14-0 near the end of the first half. Houston QB Cody Carlson “fumbled at his own 18-yard line with 24 seconds on the clock.” So, obviously, Oiler defensive coordinator Buddy Ryan punched Oiler offensive coordinator Kevin Gilbride. I stand by

Wait: When Is Mothers’ Day? Whew! – Offseason Sunday Open Thread

Open Threads

Don T - May 7, 2023May 7, 2023

The draft is over, it’s a new month, and there’s still time to get my mother something. Praise Gamblor. The stress is real, because down here in PR Mothers’ Day is, not-really quietly, the holiest of days. If you take your mother to lunch, it can’t be hurried. If you go

Some Care for Caretakers: Offseason Sunday Open Thread

Open Threads

Don T - April 30, 2023April 30, 2023

266

Back in 2012, when hotmail was a thing and Jeeves panhandled for questions, Chuck Pagano got his first head coaching job, with the Colts. Pagano hired Bruce Arians as Offensive Coordinator after the Steelers kicked Arians out and threw a gold watch towards the sidewalk. In Week 6 of the

Hi Hero, Bye Mehro – Offseason Sunday Open Thread

Open Threads

Don T - April 23, 2023April 23, 2023

117

I loved baseball. Then the '94 lockout happened and lotsa new stats emerged which I still don't know what they mean. But I still marvel at how many of the top baseball players in history are total bastards—say, Ty Cobb, Pete Rose, and Roger Clemens. And I think that’s wonderful,

Chatbot Therapy: Offseason Sunday Open Thread

Don T - April 16, 2023April 16, 2023

Just between you, me and my tinnitus, [checks around nervously to see if anyone is eavesdropping] Life hasn’t been quite excellent the last coupla weeks. Don’t mean to get all downer and stuff, but sometimes you have to deal with more crap than usual and doing nothing will make things worse. The

The Man: Equal Time Tuesday Open Thread

Don T - April 11, 2023April 11, 2023

It’s great when you hear about diversity, which can be a drag—amirite fellow whites* * Said earnestly. When I lived in Snowland (Parts I & II), several folks thought I was Italian. It's great when diversity involves something new, opening your mind to other cultures and customs. Sometimes it’s food and it’s

Easter Sunday Open Thread

Don T - April 9, 2023April 10, 2023

The tight grip on customs and the calendar by Judeo-Christian traditions foist Easter upon this godless webspace. Honestly though, I'm for chocolate gifts (awesome) and the randomness of egg-laying bunnies (wtf!). But Easter is much more. For those of you who were not blessed with the existential yoke of Catholic

Enablers: A Study – Offseason Sunday Open Thread

Don T - April 2, 2023April 2, 2023

There are millions of ads, anecdotes, gossip, poems, psalms, stories and memes about true friends being those who stand by you and look out for your best interests, always, without fail. Well spare me the personal growth and judgin' crap because this is a look at enablers. Enablers never sermonize and are

Feeling Like a Grind – Offseason Sunday Open Thread

Open Threads

Don T - March 19, 2023March 19, 2023

Last Wednesday evening, NY Mets brass rushed into a panic room after Edwin Sugar Díaz, the best paid reliever in baseball, tore his patellar tendon. Díaz got injured while celebrating with fellow #TeamRubio mates, after PR eliminated the Dominican Republic 5-2 in the 2023 World Baseball Classic. It felt kinda…

Give The Governor a Harrumph – Mel Brooks Open Thread

Don T - March 5, 2023May 3, 2023

I must have been five years old when my father took our family to see “Silent Movie” in the theatRe. I got into it immediately. Everything was self-explanatory, one gag after the other, very little dialogue: great for a kid with basic reading skills and knowing almost no English. Then

Apathy: An Endorsement – Offseason Sunday Open Thread

Open Threads

Don T - February 26, 2023February 26, 2023

Why care. Nothing is permanent. Every tingle felt from eye contact, and all smiles, hugs, lusty grabs and “You were right”s are but fleeting seconds of smoldering bliss that time blows away like ash from a cig. Emotional attachments create longing and melancholy or even worse—sadness, a dull and dreadful

First Pre-Preseason Sunday Open Thread

Open Threads

Don T - February 19, 2023February 19, 2023

148

[Walks up to podium, slight nod towards youse, adjusts microphone exasperatingly, grumbling atmosphere established] Cough. Hi! Good evening. Yeah… I’m also bummed. If only fortune granted us the treat of another NFL game and the witty, knowing, silly and hysterical scotchnaut pregame post. But-- 🦺📢🚧OBVIOUS CRAP ALERT🚧📢🦺 --the 2022 season had to end sometime.