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Category: Assholes
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Tripping Over The Light Fantastic; or A Desperate Plié: Your All-Dancing 2019 Buffalo Bills Season Preview
[Author’s Note: As promised/threatened, this year’s Buffalo Bills Season Preview will be conducted in the medium of interpretive dance. Yes, I know it’s particularly…
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Santa Clara Diet: A San Francisco 49ers Preview
[Author’s Note: In support of DFO’s efforts to maintain its position at the bleeding edge of Blog Innovation, I have chosen to conduct this…
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Your 2019 Stillers Preview
I’m supposed to preview the 2019 Steelers. Let me start with this: This entire division makes less sense than Drumpf’s cabinet. People are…
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TB12Tots: Your Guide to Safely Endangering Children
Hi, I’m Tom Brady. You may remember me from giving your asshole acquaintances from Boston an undeserved sense of accomplishment for the last 18…
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Your Saturday Evening “It Looks Bad If We Leave Them There” Open Thread
We are well into summer now, and I want to vent about something: lost tourists. Now, I don’t want to complain about the driving…
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Los Fanáticos Argentinos Reaccionan Razonablemente
Balls Note: As a result of a special request from King Hippo, I’m doing this post entirely in Spanish. Take it as an opportunity…
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TWIFY: Qatar. Today’s Copa América team Preview
Wakezilla sitting in the back of a limo while his driver, a black male, has a stressed look on his face, is driving on…
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Just a Slight Tweak
As some of you may have picked up from my eerily-detailed posts on the Arizona Cardinals, I am a longtime (in Arizona terms) Phoenix…
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We need to talk about last night’s Paradise Hotel: Chlamydia Stew
I swear to you that I have better taste. I do not just exclusively watch skanky reality television. Last night, I had finished dinner…
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A Tradition Like Any Other: Augusta National Can F*** Right Off
Here’s a secret: I despise the dipshits who run Augusta National Golf Club. Glad-handing, misogynist dickheads who use the ideas of “tradition” and “the…