CrimeBeat!: Take 2 Edition

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - August 16, 2016

So for the two of you who actually saw my post earlier, sorry for the headfake. I lost my grandfather last night (ironically, he had the winning square for "How Long Will He Outlive My Grandmother?") and I was getting all emo and Goth Aaron Rodgers and shit. But then I

Your “Hump Day Brings Us Closer To FOOTBAW!” Wednesday Open Thread

Beerguyrob - August 3, 2016August 3, 2016

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[edited to add banner pic and CFL game info] NFL News: Myles Jack has been moved up to first team reps at Jags camp. Leon Hall is getting interest from the Bengals and Giants, both of whom need additional help on the corner. Donovan McNabb would like you to know he

CrimeBeat!: Isn’t This Where We Came In? Edition

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - July 28, 2016July 28, 2016

Jeebus Cripes. As Albert Einstein (probably never) said, "When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute and it's longer than any hour. That's relativity." And somehow the last year feels like

DFO Bible Stories: The Ten Commandments

montythisseemsstrangetome - June 14, 2016June 14, 2016

1I am the Lord your God. You shall have no other gods before Me. 2You shall not make for yourself a carved image. 3You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain. 4Remember the Sabbath day. In it you shall do no work. 5Honor your father and your mother. 6You shall

“Drafting For Character” and Other Spectacular Draft Lies

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - April 28, 2016April 28, 2016

TOP IMAGE from "Great Lies to Tell Small Kids" by Andy Riley. Highly recommended book. SO HERE WE ARE! It's hours until the draft starts (then stops, then starts, then stops, and finally limps over the finish line a few days from now) and except for questions about hand size and

CrimeBeat!: The One With The Bourble

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - April 26, 2016April 26, 2016

Greetings, Starfighter. You have been drafted by the National Football League to defend the Shield against Xur and the Ko-dan Armada. God, I loved that movie as a kid. Video games save the known universe. Mary Catherine Stewart, who still has her fastball at the age of 57. The "Death Blossom"

[BOOK FLIES OPEN]: Andrew Luck Knows How to Read

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BrettFavresColonoscopy - April 26, 2016April 26, 2016

It's been a busy past few days in NFL News: Josh Norman signed with the [REDACTED]s and shortly thereafter admitted that he tried and failed to go crawling back to the Panthers; Sam Bradford demanded a trade and said he wouldn't show up to OTAs in protest of the Eagles'

CrimeBeat!: Drafticipation Edition

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - April 19, 2016April 19, 2016

OYEZ, OYEZ, OYEZ! The Honorable, the Right Reverend Electric Mayhem. All persons having business before this poorly-written, barely coherent pseudo-tabloid-news-show internet column are admonished to draw near and give their attention, for the Chief Asshat is now sitting. God save the Commentariat and this Sport we love and revile. We have

Your “C’mon Tournament – Start Now!” Open Thread

Beerguyrob - March 14, 2016March 14, 2016

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Free agency – hungover from the weekend edition. It sure seems like everybody in charge binge-drank last week, because the signing news today sure seems like someone is holding my hair while I puke: The day’s highlight is Eric Weddle signing with the Ravens, in their attempt to have a more hirsute,

Tom Brady’s PED Scandal, Part 3: Cracks in the Foundation

blaxabbath - January 28, 2016January 28, 2016

Here was the thing about last week's AFC Championship game -- whichever quarterback won would need to face a week on Super Bowl Radio Row answering questions which will certainly include vague softballs about his off field regimen, including accusations of illegal performance enhancing substances. With Peyton Manning coming up victorious (17/32,

DFO’s Resident Pats Fan Checks In With His Thoughts on the AFC Championship Game

The Maestro - January 24, 2016January 24, 2016

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Get Fired Up.

blaxabbath - January 22, 2016January 24, 2016

Hello all. Happy Friday Before Conference Championship Sunday. Lots of discussion about Manning-Brady 17 on the AFC side and the two best teams in the league facing off on the NFC side this week. Good football games are expected to fill our tv screens all Sunday afternoon in the penultimate week of