HRTN Horror Double Feature!

Beastmode Ate My Baby - October 20, 2017October 19, 2017

That last film was pretty...weird. It must have been one of those European horror films that don't make as much sense in English. Or maybe it was Mexican. There was a masked wrestler in it, after all. And you're pretty sure it was dubbed. Whatever it was, though, it sure

CFL Beat: Week 18

The Maestro - October 19, 2017October 19, 2017

I'd like to say I'm giving a shit about football this week. Realistically, I don't know if I could possibly give less of a fuck. Yesterday, Canada lost one its greatest sons, and one of the greatest men this country has ever known. While we knew this day was coming

HRTN Horror Double-Feature

Beastmode Ate My Baby - October 13, 2017October 12, 2017

Holy cow! That was intense! Like, that Moose guy found these cannibals trying to eat this brain guy, and then this old cannibal lady showed up and hacked him real good with a big ol' axe! There's popcorn all over the car now...you feel a little sheepish about getting so

HRTN: Moving Day

Beastmode Ate My Baby - October 13, 2017October 13, 2017

The scene: The Secret Base on the Island of Doktor Zymm! Specifically, right outside of the secret base, where there's a yard sale in progress. Ninjas and techs are looking through the variety of toasters, clocks, beakers, centrifuges, weights, televisions... Marc Trestmans Windowless Van is sitting at a table with

Announcing… The #DoLoThroDo17 Challenge.

The Maestro - October 6, 2017October 5, 2017

I'm doing a stupid thing on Saturday, and I encourage you all to join me in this endeavour if you so please. If you want to follow along live while I do so, be sure to follow me on Twitter at @TSN_Jorts. I'll probably be starting around 1 PM EST,

HRTN Horror Double-Feature!

Beastmode Ate My Baby - October 6, 2017October 4, 2017

How you managed to get a date with Debbi Jo Sopinsky is still a minor miracle, but you did! And now here you are, sitting at the Vista Vue drive-in, waiting for the double-feature to start. It's going to go a lot better than your last date. I mean, it

Your Short & Simple Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob - October 3, 2017October 3, 2017

317

NFL News: The Ezekiel Elliott appeal had its hearing before a federal panel on Monday. A three-judge panel with the U.S. 5th Circuit Court of Appeals in New Orleans is reviewing the NFL's request for an emergency stay of an injunction issued by a lower court in the Elliott case.

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 97)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - September 29, 2017September 28, 2017

The scene: The Iguana Mart of the Future! While the rest of the DFO has been up to their ears in trouble, Low Commander has been gathering up supplies and is now in a checkout line with a yuuuge cart full of future-stuff. Warblefunk is playing over the sound system.

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 96)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - September 22, 2017September 21, 2017

The scene: The future! A time centuries from now, when mankind has survived countless wars, disasters and Zymm-related incidents to...well, maybe not thrive, exactly. I mean, it's more like mankind is still kicking around on a planet that's become pretty darn weird. Until recently Emperor Moose ruled with an iron

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 95)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - September 15, 2017September 15, 2017

The scene: The Secret Base on the Island of Doktor Zymm! Ballsofsteelandfury is walking down the hallway with Moosemas Gorilla, Jerry and BFC. BFC: We appreciate the tour! This place is yuuuge! Ballsofsteelandfury: No problem. I figured you guys should know your way around a bit. Jerry (walking toward a door): Hey,

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 93)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - September 1, 2017August 31, 2017

The scene: The secret base on the Island of Doktor Zymm! Specifically one of the hallways in said base, where Jerry and BFC are wandering around. Jerry: This place is yuuuge! This is bigger than that resort we stayed at in Veracruz. BFC: Uh...yeah. That was a prison, not a resort, remember? Jerry:

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 92)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - August 25, 2017August 24, 2017

The scene: Outer space, where a magical chariot is hurtling through the open void. And just calling it a chariot is an understatement. This thing is wicked cool, bro. It's a metallic red with golden trim and racing flames, with yuuuge gold rims that look like they came off of