Your 2017 Stihlers Bye Week Report

ballsofsteelandfury - November 7, 2017November 7, 2017

Thought you were done with me, huh? Nope! Because the Pittsburgh Steelers had a bye in the week just concluded, you get an update on where they are this season. Also, because it's me, you get it in homophonic pictorial form. Okay, let's start. I originally said that this season would hinge on

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 98)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - November 3, 2017November 2, 2017

The scene: The Deadly Jungle on the Secret Island of Doktor Zymm! A pair of crabmen, having escaped the lab (and an angry Fozz) are making their way through the foliage. King Crabman: Gbt tvu mk. [Well, that was certainly a setback.] Crabman #1: Mk! Tku vk gtgt! [A setback? We

The Blair Walsh Project

laserguru - October 31, 2017

Exterior: Wintertime in a wooded area. A shaky handheld camera pans in a 180 degree view. Voice 1: "Hey Laura? I think I've got it!" Voice 2: "Is it on? Have you ever worked one of those things before?" V1: "Oh geez, it's just a camcorder ya know. Even a little kid can

HRTN Horror Double-Feature!

Beastmode Ate My Baby - October 27, 2017October 26, 2017

The scene: An abandoned cabin in the woods, where Angry Girl Scout has brought Unsurprised, Litre Cola and the Maestro, in order to sacrifice them to her dark master in return for unimaginable power. At the moment, the three are tied up and leaning against the couch. Each of them

“What Mess Is This?” A Walking Dead Review

Beerguyrob - October 24, 2017October 24, 2017

Yesterday, I tried to combine two tortures into one, wanting the Open Thread to serve as a "Walking Dead" recap as well. However, like reading Uproxx whilst drinking a Bud Light, my day clearly fell apart and so I decided to keep the Thread pure and hold the recap over

HRTN Horror Double Feature!

Beastmode Ate My Baby - October 20, 2017October 19, 2017

That last film was pretty...weird. It must have been one of those European horror films that don't make as much sense in English. Or maybe it was Mexican. There was a masked wrestler in it, after all. And you're pretty sure it was dubbed. Whatever it was, though, it sure

CFL Beat: Week 18

The Maestro - October 19, 2017October 19, 2017

I'd like to say I'm giving a shit about football this week. Realistically, I don't know if I could possibly give less of a fuck. Yesterday, Canada lost one its greatest sons, and one of the greatest men this country has ever known. While we knew this day was coming

HRTN Horror Double-Feature

Beastmode Ate My Baby - October 13, 2017October 12, 2017

Holy cow! That was intense! Like, that Moose guy found these cannibals trying to eat this brain guy, and then this old cannibal lady showed up and hacked him real good with a big ol' axe! There's popcorn all over the car now...you feel a little sheepish about getting so

HRTN: Moving Day

Beastmode Ate My Baby - October 13, 2017October 13, 2017

The scene: The Secret Base on the Island of Doktor Zymm! Specifically, right outside of the secret base, where there's a yard sale in progress. Ninjas and techs are looking through the variety of toasters, clocks, beakers, centrifuges, weights, televisions... Marc Trestmans Windowless Van is sitting at a table with

Announcing… The #DoLoThroDo17 Challenge.

The Maestro - October 6, 2017October 5, 2017

I'm doing a stupid thing on Saturday, and I encourage you all to join me in this endeavour if you so please. If you want to follow along live while I do so, be sure to follow me on Twitter at @TSN_Jorts. I'll probably be starting around 1 PM EST,

HRTN Horror Double-Feature!

Beastmode Ate My Baby - October 6, 2017October 4, 2017

How you managed to get a date with Debbi Jo Sopinsky is still a minor miracle, but you did! And now here you are, sitting at the Vista Vue drive-in, waiting for the double-feature to start. It's going to go a lot better than your last date. I mean, it

Your Short & Simple Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob - October 3, 2017October 3, 2017

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NFL News: The Ezekiel Elliott appeal had its hearing before a federal panel on Monday. A three-judge panel with the U.S. 5th Circuit Court of Appeals in New Orleans is reviewing the NFL's request for an emergency stay of an injunction issued by a lower court in the Elliott case.