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Category: Fuck You America
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World Baseball Classic Preview – Seoul/Tokyo Pools
So, what can I say about the World Baseball Classic which hasn’t already been said? /realizes nobody talks about nor knows (nor cares) what…
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CrimeBeat!: Whistling Past the Graveyard Edition
/closes eyes, pinches bridge of nose, puffs out cheeks and blows out breath. Ok. Ok. You can do this, Mayhem. //opens eyes, stares at…
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Celebrity Superb Owl Picks: Sean Spicer
COWARDLY MEDIA WHORE TRADING JOURNALISTIC INTEGRITY FOR ACCESS: Good evening, and welcome to CNN. Tonight, we turn to a somewhat lighter topic than normal:…
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Lesser Footy to Ease the Suffering
Day Two of living under the First Reich. Assuming we are not yet dead, here are the fixtures we shall use to kill off…
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Reince Priebus Tries To Plan The Inauguration
The scene is one of quiet desperation, as GOP Chairman Reince Priebus tries to produce quality entertainment for the upcoming inaugural festivities. On a constant…
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The Reign of the Jackal King Begins
Here we are. The dogs have sprung from their caves, muzzles saturated with blood and baring their sabre sharp teeth that are eager…
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Throwing Salt on Your Snowflakes
If you have kids, they are assholes. I have three kids and the older two are assholes and the younger one is excelling in…
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The Banshee Screams For Buffalo Meat
Oh men. MEN! Lend me your ears; I come to bury Rex, not to praise him. The naughty shit that men do lives…
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Winter, You Can Frostbite My Balls
“Winter lies too long in country towns; hangs on until it is stale and shabby, old and sullen. “ Willa Cather wrote that and…
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CrimeBeat! Triumphant Return Edition
Oh men. MEN! I apologize, from the deepest cockles of my heart, for the no-doubt-emotionally-devastating wasteland that your lives have been during the prolonged…