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Category: Team Previews
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A TOAST TO BLEERGH: Your 2017 New England Patriots Preview
[INT. – A dark, candlelit dungeon appears slowly in the dim light. A hooded figure sits alone at a rough-hewn wooden table, with stacks…
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CrimeBeat!: Detroit Lions Season Preview Edition
(Puts on Vince Mancini hat, dusts off Armond White’s seminal work, “Ethnic Frisson: Pretentiously Overbearing Pontification in Mid-Pre-Post-Modern Cinematic TruthBombing”) I am continually fascinated…
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Complacent Indifference: Packers 2017 Preview
Above: Your author, 5 p.m. Wednesday. Three hours after finding out he missed his deadline. There’s a good reason I’m late with this. A…
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Minnesota Vikings 2017 Team Preview – Handling Tragedy with Dignity.
Banner image via MMQB.com Voiceover by the Ghost of John Facenda: “October 16th 2016. The Minnesota Vikings enter their bye week with a record of…
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The 2017 Jacksonville Jaguars Team Preview: A franchise misunderestimated
————————————————————————– We begin with a simple quiz: How many of these players are still active on the jaguars roster? I’ll give you a…
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Chicago Bears 2017-2018 Preview
Today is a weird day. Not just in the DFO Clubhouse either. All across America today, PERHAPS EVEN RIGHT NOW, the moon is blocking…
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2017 Indianapolis Colts Preview
For your 2017 Indianapolis Colts preview, I had an imaginary conversion with myself. Enjoy. So the Colts, huh. Didn’t they used to be good?…
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Your half-assed completely biased Premier League preview Part 2 and Saturday open thread?
We are back after quite the week 1 where there were some happy moments and as usual some real angry moments. So Huddersfield town…
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Your “Oh Look – It’s The Atlanta F*%$#-king Falcons” Season Preview
They know what they did. THEY KNOW! I hope Dan Quinn wakes up screaming every night at 3:28 AM, sweating in anguish over how…
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Inferno (Or, Your 2017 Browns Preview)
O, speak to me, o Muse! Please take my mind And offer me assistance for this tale. Through you, I hope to join ven’rable…