Fudge Off, Ralphie: The Real Christmas Story Bully

One of my favorite traditions is catching the better part of four or five airings of A Christmas Story on TBS. Due to the nature of this marathon, I've seen this movie more times than I've seen The Shawshank Redemption. Hell, I've seen it more times than Anchorman, which shouldn't be

The Haders Guide to the Baseball Hall of Fame Vote

Howdy baseball folks, I realize most of you aren't necessarily baseball folks, and I'm being a wise ass by implying otherwise, but we're coming up on the end of the year, and it's time to talk about the retired baseball players who are under consideration for the highest honor in the

Helpful Suggestions For A Better XFL

Hello Vince, I’m writing to you, because I see what you are attempting with the resurrection of your XFL, and I want to help. I know we see the same thing whenever we try to watch an NFL game. Confusion. Rampant pussification. Distractions left and right. I’m sorry, does nobody out

Coach Harbaugh Learns About Retirement

Big 10 coaches Lovie Smith, Pat Fitzgerald, Kirk Ferentz, P.J. Fleck, James Franklin and Jeff Brohm sitting around a table when Jim Harbaugh runs in a dead sprint toward the group. He's carrying a baseball glove and a half emptied gallon of whole milk, his upper lip bleached white. His

Infinite Nets Week Six: On Temper Tantrums

"Just..go back. Pretend the whole thing never happened." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCrOwUiq8NM When last they met, the Miami Heat had finished off a wire to wire beatdown over the Nets. Last Tuesday however, the story was much different. It's hard to know what to expect out of this squad without Caris LeVert for at least

Infinite Nets Week 5: It’s Wintertime

"The world is so cold" Winter has come. The worthlessly pedantic will tell me that autumn doesn't punch out until the 21st, but that's a dweeb's way of viewing things. The leaves are down and snow has fallen. Thanksgiving isn't until next week, but sometimes Thanksgiving comes after the fall. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MCBXd7HZmaE Similarly, the

The Narrative: Comprehensive Reform

Drive into West Lake, and you won’t see signs of grief. There are no crosses lined up on the side of any county route headed in or out of town. There isn’t an eternal flame burning anywhere. In truth, they appear to sell a wholesomeness that you won’t find outside