DFO Insider: Shelved for Retooling

INT. DFO PRODUCTION OFFICE – DAY A pair of sleazy Hollywood producers are hard at work. One - DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS - is inspecting his recent manicure, occasionally frowning at imperfections.  The other - RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY - is impatiently peering at a six-pack planter of seedlings. RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: Come on, damn you!  Hurry up

The Devil and Hue Jackson (Part 2)

Part 1 --- "Good morning, Huey Jackson, it's time to rise and grind." The Devil's words come penetratin' into Hue's wrecked mind. So Hue sets down Mike Brown's laundry, cause that's his job these days, In addition to designin' passes for Andy Dalton to throw away. "Wake up, Sunshine!" the Devil laughs. "It's time to break

That’s My Raiders! Tank Time

EXT. OAKLAND RAIDERS SHARED HOUSE – DAY Establishing shot and title card. ANNOUNCER BETH MOWINS: That Raiders Show [sic] is filmed in front of a live student [sic] audience. CUT TO – INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY The music of Further Seems Forever blares throughout the house.  KOLTON MILLER sits on the couch, munching from a

Mahomes Needs a Nickname

I hate the Chiefs.  I hate them so much that when I'm feeling blue I literally pull up videos of their humiliating playoff collapses against the Colts and Titans in order to make myself feel better. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Epo5HLjGdE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Agg73-6QOYo So I think it really says something that I don't feel any particular animosity towards

Bears at the Bye

INT. DFO PRODUCTION OFFICE – DAY A pair of sleazy Hollywood producers are taking a meeting.  One (DARKEST TIMELINE ZACH MORRIS) is seated at his desk with a bottle of Apple brand glass cleaner and an Apple brand lint-free cloth polishing his Apple Watch while the other (RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY) lays recumbent on the

That’s My Raiders! Contraindications

EXT. OAKLAND RAIDERS SHARED HOUSE – DAY Establishing shot and title card. ANNOUNCER BETH MOWINS: That's So Raiders [sic] is filmed in front of a light [sic] studio audience. CUT TO – INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY KOLTON MILLER sits on the couch, munching from a big bag of cheese puffs.  He looks up as

Donnie Doesn’t Know

(sung to the tune of "Scotty Doesn't Know") https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_AKr1BEajA --- Donnie doesn't know that his Paulie flipped And signed off on a plea deal He turns on the TV To the Fox News show But it's just car crashes So Donnie doesn't know Oh Donnie doesn't know-ooo-oh So don't tell Donnie Donnie doesn't know Donnie doesn't know (So don't tell Donnie!) Rudy says there's

That’s My Raiders! Pocket Presence

EXT. OAKLAND RAIDERS SHARED HOUSE – DAY Establishing shot and title card. ANNOUNCER BETH MOWINS: Everybody Loves My Raiders [sic] is filmed in front of a live stereo [sic] audience. CUT TO – INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY The music of Dashboard Confessional blares throughout the house.  KOLTON MILLER sits on the couch, munching from