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Author: montythisseemsstrangetome
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3 Things – Because There Always Has to Be 3 Things
1.) Pharmacies are stapler-happy. Why must they always staple my receipt to the bag? Don’t they know I need that shit for my taxes?…
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Nobody Cares About My Fantasy Team
We don’t care about Horatio’s fantasy teams so much that we don’t even care about not caring about them anymore. Even Horatio doesn’t care.…
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Ask Someone Who Just Watched Their First Football Game
Dear Someone Who Just Watched Their First Football Game, What do you think of the Jets’ surprising 2-0 start? Can Ryan Fitzpatrick lead this…
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DFO Request Line: Do Your Worst
I was in the car the other day and the 1990 pop classic “Hold On” by Wilson Phillips came on the radio. As I…
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The Kansas City Chiefs Preview – What Memes May Come
The Andy Reid-era Chiefs began 9-0, and since then they have gone 11-13, including playoffs. That there is a Peter King-level contrived statistical nugget.…
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Bye Bye, Kissing Suzy Kolber
A long, long time ago I can still remember how those dick jokes used to make me smile And I knew if I created…
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WARNING: You’ll Be Humming This Tune The Rest Of The Day
Once there was this guy who Got into an accident on the 4th of July And when it finally came out His finger had…
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Potty Mouth
I’m a fan of the Freakonomics podcast and they recently had one about public restrooms. The main question was, Why isn’t there music playing…
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Time to Get Serious
I don’t want to get too heavy here, but if a guy had some thoughts on God, church, and the afterlife that he wanted…
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Is The Glass Half Full Or Half Empty?
Here’s the thing about the glass half full/half empty argument. It’s not even half full. It’s like, maybe a quarter, tops. Look at it!…