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Category: Bastards
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Red Sox win World Series; Maestro continues to be insufferable.
FACKIN’ STEVE PEAHCE AND DAVID PRICE! THIS IS OW-AH FACKIN’ YEAHH! NEVAH HAS THEAH BEEN SUCH A FACKIN’ INCREDIBLE TEAM. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO[spits dip]OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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It’s Stuck, So Time to Force It: 2018 Detroit Lions Bye Weekapalooza
It’s a burden, being right all the time. I know, I know- I hear you virtually saying “But Mayhem, how could being right all the…
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“Save Us, Jameis!” and Other Signs of Desperation: Tampa Bay at the Bye
So the Roadrunner’s a dick, right? Wile E. Coyote has some issues of his own, no argument. The ancient Greeks wish they had come…
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Hey Rube: Your 2018 Buffalo Bills Season “Preview”
“So maybe there’s hope. Or maybe I’m going mad… In a nation ruled by swine, all pigs are upward mobile — and the rest…
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No Ones Chargers 2018 Season Preview
INTERIOR – ST. SOPHIA CATHEDRAL, LOS ANGELES – MIDDAY [A decent group of formal, yet lavishly dressed people sit in the pews as the…
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Your 2018 “I’ll Keep my Money, Bisciotti” Baltimore Ravens Preview
Twenty years ago I bought my PSL for the Ravens. After i wrote the check I had $100 in my bank account, but having…
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Like Pine Tar…But With NFL Rosters
INT. 666 FIFTH AVENUE — DAYTIME Two men sit side by side at a table in a small room. The older man confidently watches…
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Huzzah, Teh Bastard Man Is Gone!
Sorry for the late postings, I forgot. But glad tidings, my imaginary friends, for Fat Sam a/k/a Gravy Tits a/k/a That Hippo Head Fuck/Cunt…
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Ask me no questions, I will tell you no lies
INT. FOX SPORTS STUDIOS — WESTWOOD, CA A producer mimes a countdown from five and, when reaching one, points a finger to the FS1…
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![Raging Semi Tuesday – Roma at [grumble, grumble]](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/roma-1000x1000.jpg)
Raging Semi Tuesday – Roma at [grumble, grumble]
Let’s blow that up a little. Because it deserves it. A beautiful Cinderella story spoiled by essentially gifting the assdickery Redshite into the finals. …