CrimeBeat!: An Existential Quandre Edition

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - November 7, 2019November 7, 2019

It's that time again- time to examine the biggest NFL felonies (real or metaphorical) of the last couple of days weeks (gimme a break, new fatherhood is a bitch). It's CrimeBeat! and you will listen to EVERY LAST WORD I SAY! ACCUSED: Corbyn Nyemah CHARGE: Attempted Home Invasion, Property Damage, Cuckoldry Who is

Bye Week Update: New England Patriots

The Maestro - November 6, 2019November 6, 2019

[Slow fade in to EXT. - a shabby rowhouse in South Boston.] [Cut to INT. of the shabby rowhouse. Beer cans litter the ground, as a man lies passed out on the floor, snoring.] [A second man enters through the front door, gingerly stepping around the mess.] [Pan to a shot of the

Your Yinzer Injury Report 2019

WCS - October 18, 2019

Oh, I’m told this the Bye Week update? Screw that, title still stands. THE BENS TEEM HAS LOTS OF OWIES IN ALL OVER BODYSPOT This team had serious question marks to start this season, and like 908% of the offense has gotten hurt since the opening kick-off to start the season. 2-4

CrimeBeat!: Blind Squirrel Edition

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - September 20, 2019

What a long, strange trip it's been for Antonio Brown in New England. They've laughed. They've cried. They've grumbled. Yes, Antonio Brown's lengthy tenure with Patriots has come to an abrupt and in-no-way-foreseeable end. Massholes, Junior Massholes from New Hampshire/Maine/Rhode Island and various band-wagoners will look back fondly on all the

Your “More Like ‘Sneakers At The Beer Garden'” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob - September 10, 2019September 10, 2019

Banner photo by Daniel Berman/www.bermanphotos.com NFL Nuggets: First game of the season, and the first officiating error against the Saints. As most of you watched, prior to the half the refs pulled an accounting error in calculating when to do the 10-second runoff, forcing the Saints to hurry their field goal

The Picture of Tom Brady: Your 2019 New England Patriots Season Preview

The Maestro - August 16, 2019August 16, 2019

SPRING 2000 The office was filled with the faint odor of cortisone gel, and when the light spring wind stirred the dust that had settled on the grandstands outside, there came through the open door the heavy scent of the freshly laid turf, accompanied by the more delicate aroma of the

TB12Tots: Your Guide to Safely Endangering Children

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - July 29, 2019July 28, 2019

Hi, I'm Tom Brady. You may remember me from giving your asshole acquaintances from Boston an undeserved sense of accomplishment for the last 18 years. People ask me, "How could you, a man generally considered bright enough to tie his own shoelaces without drooling on himself overmuch, decide that it was

Your Saturday AM Lesser Footy Thread

Wakezilla - April 13, 2019April 13, 2019

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Good morning Lesser Footy fans! We’re at match day 34 and there are some key fixtures occurring today. First, here’s what you might have. . . *The screen goes all blurry and the sound of white noise can be heard. The camera is now clear and all you can see is a

Your “How ‘Bout A Change Of Pace?” Thursday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob - February 28, 2019February 28, 2019

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NFL Noise: Demaryius Thomas has been arrested for vehicular assault. He was the driver in a single-vehicle, rollover accident where a passenger was hurt. Under Colorado law, “vehicular assault” occurs when a person drives recklessly or under the influence of alcohol and the driving causes serious bodily injury to another

Orchids of Asia Day Spa Report Context

blaxabbath - February 25, 2019February 24, 2019

Good Morning and thank you all for being our here today on such a chilly Boston morning. I am speaking before you this morning to share valuable insight regarding last week's allegations that my boyfriend of seven years but not father of my 10 month old child, Mr Robert Kraft, will

CrimeBeat!: Patriots Schadenfreude Day Edition

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - February 22, 2019February 22, 2019

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AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh dear...it's so sweet it should come with a vial of insulin...I though "ROFL" was just an expression.... Brothers and sisters, we live in an Age of Common Wonders. We can talk instantaneously to someone on the other side of the planet and we think nothing of it. We have computers

[DFO] Hate Week Presents: The New England Patriots – An Open Thread (Of Hate)

Beerguyrob - January 29, 2019January 29, 2019

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Welcome to the second day of the Third Annual DFO Hate Week™, brought to you by the Quincy Market, the USS Constitution, and Boston drivers - where road rage is for both in front of & behind the wheel. I could easily just repost my Hate Week articles from 2017