Celebrity Superb Owl Picks: Sean Spicer

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - February 1, 2017February 1, 2017

COWARDLY MEDIA WHORE TRADING JOURNALISTIC INTEGRITY FOR ACCESS: Good evening, and welcome to CNN. Tonight, we turn to a somewhat lighter topic than normal: picking the winner of the upcoming Super Bowl. With us tonight is professional faux-liberal doormat Alan Colmes... COLMES: Thank you. I'm just so happy to be... WHORE: And

The Reign of the Jackal King Begins

jjfozz - January 17, 2017January 16, 2017

Here we are. The dogs have sprung from their caves, muzzles saturated with blood and baring their sabre sharp teeth that are eager to rend. The Jackal King is a slavering cretin with the heart of a pimp, the soul of a harpy, and the self restraint of Jeffrey Dahmer. Hate drips

TGISF…aka “All You Need is Glove” Sexy Friday Open Thread

theeWeeBabySeamus - January 13, 2017January 13, 2017

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(apologies to Lennon and McCartney for that one) Yep, I'm back. /everyone groans Even though thanks to a snowstorm I technically never left. But still, I haven't seen you folks since last year. Seriously. First and foremost.....Many thanks to my good friend ballsofsteelandfury for filling in for me last week. I'm sorry, that was mean.

NFL Coaching Carousel Special

theeWeeBabySeamus - January 4, 2017

That's a funny word. Carousel. Seriously, look at it, it's weird.... Carousel. Meh. Whatever. Coaches be gettin' fired. Coaches be gettin' rumored. Let's get up to date, Shall we? Carousel? CAROUSEL!!!!!! No Hard feelings guys, but GTFO. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhkNLHictW8 - Who's Out? LA Rams - Jeff Fisher - Here, have a contract extension.....PSYCHE!!!!!! Bye Jeff. Jacksonville Jaguras - Gus Bradley -

Winter, You Can Frostbite My Balls

jjfozz - December 21, 2016December 16, 2016

“Winter lies too long in country towns; hangs on until it is stale and shabby, old and sullen. “ Willa Cather wrote that and I couldn’t tell you who Willa Cather is if you promised me a tureen full of bourbon, a rack of prime rib, and videos of PK getting

TGISF…aka “Working Title: Bad Girls” Sexy Friday Open Thread

theeWeeBabySeamus - December 16, 2016December 16, 2016

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I told ya's last week I was mailing it in. Then I went and got all talky talky typey typey RIGHT AFTER saying I was mailing it in last week. Then a lot of you made fun of me, both publicly and privately. Perhaps I was merely just a week

Balls’ Bedtime Stories – Chapter 15 (Le Fin)

ballsofsteelandfury - December 10, 2016December 10, 2016

Balls was left alone with the three new arrivals and Goodell. Goodell addressed each of them individually by name in vain hope of saving his life. "Ben, don't do...whatever you plan on doing! Mike, I brought you back into the fold! Thanks to me, you got a bunch of money you

A Correction is Made. A Promise is Kept.

laserguru - November 9, 2016

Int: A very dark and damp room. The only sounds are a steady drip of water and quiet sobs and moans. Victim #3: "Hello? Please. Anybody? Hello?" /more sobs and sniffling sounds are heard. V3: " I know someone is here. I've heard things moving about. Why are you doing this?" /suddenly a bare

DFO Mock Draft: Presidential Write-Ins

Senor Weaselo - November 4, 2016November 4, 2016

You might have heard on the news that there's an election happening soon for some government job on Tuesday. The two main candidates have favorability ratings somewhere in the realm of bedbugs and cockroaches. There have been things called "debates" which looked like something out of Wilmer Valderrama's Yo Momma

The Last Yard

entropy - October 31, 2016October 31, 2016

The Last Yard - Spooky NFL Halloween Stories, 2016 We are at an unknown and unrecognizable football field, shrouded in mist, and the sun is setting, but there seems to be a piece of a sign that reads a barely legible "--HITA" over one of the locker room tunnels. It's a

The Itchy Brain

horror

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris - October 31, 2016

The NFL player awoke Monday morning with his normal headache, along with the typical aches and pains of a Monday after a tough game. They’d lost, and played badly, and he was in a rotten mood. His headache was usually relieved by some toradol or some oxy, and smoking some weed