Mouth Flies Open: DFO Advice Mailbag #5

The team at DFO is committed to brightening the world with insights, observations, and dick jokes. This mailbag feature is just one more way in which we extend our mission beyond football to the rest of life’s broad and multi-chromatic palette. Fantasy football questions still welcome but by no means required.  If you

Mouth Flies Open: DFO Advice Mailbag Door Number Four

The team at DFO is committed to brightening the world with insights, observations, and dick jokes. This mailbag feature is just one more way in which we extend our mission beyond football to the rest of life’s broad and multi-chromatic palette. Fantasy football questions still welcome but by no means required. 

Mouth Flies Open: DFO Advice Mailbag Episode III

The team at DFO is committed to brightening the world with insights, observations, and dick jokes. This mailbag feature is just one more way in which we extend our mission beyond football to the rest of life’s broad and multi-chromatic palette. Fantasy football questions still welcome but by no means required. 

Mouth Flies Open: Door Number 2

The team at DFO is committed to brightening the world with insights, observations, and dick jokes. This mailbag feature is just one more way in which we extend our mission beyond football to the rest of life’s broad and multi-chromatic palette. Fantasy football questions still welcome but by no means required. 

Two Ears, One Mouth and All–DFO Mailbag Submissions

Thanks to those who participated in the debut edition of Mouth Flies Open, the don't-call-it-a-sequel revamped reboot of the DFO Advice Mailbag.  We had some great questions, some meh questions, and some hopefully entertaining if not-cranked-all-the-way-to-eleven-illuminating advice. The only way this advice column works is with audience participation--from DFOers, your friends,

Mouth Flies Open: A DFO Advice Column

The team at DFO is committed to brightening the world with insights, observations, and dick jokes. This mailbag feature is just one more way in which we extend our mission beyond football to the rest of life's broad and multi-chromatic palette. Fantasy football questions still welcome but by no means required. 

Through Which Open Door Should You Go?

For many fantasy football players that aren't me, this is a huge week. And for many real football players that aren't in northern California, it's an even yuuuger week. I'm talking, of course, about the winter solstice. Oh, and fantasy football championships, and playoff hunts, and end of the year discussions

Week One is in books! Your [DFO] Law and Fantasy Football Mailbag

I had a whole diatribe written before the mailbag but then my computer turned off and I lost most of it.  Anyway, how did Week 1 go for you?  Did you get enough flag-humping pseudo patriotism to last you until Thursday?  Did you cry with rage when the Patriots raised

The World Is On Fire: Your [DFO] Law and Fantasy Football Mailbag

When cases are decided by a panel of judges (e.g. the Supreme Court), judges can write "concurring opinions" where they agree with the ultimate result (or dissent) but disagree with the reasoning.  Commissioner Goodell is either a moron or a troll genius.  He bungled the Ezekiel Elliot situation so badly

I Want Carruth! You Can’t Handle Carruth! Your [DFO] Law and Fantasy Football Mailbag

ALL RISE! The DFO Mailbag of Law and Fantasy Football is Now In Session (please see the disclaimer at the bottom of the page). The premise of this column is that I am a lawyer who excels at playing fantasy football.  Please write to me to ask me your most insane

Making Ezekiel: Your [DFO] Law and Fantasy Football Mailbag

By far the most common question submitted this week was about where you should take Ezekiel Elliot in your upcoming drafts.  The second most common question submitted was if it is ethically proper to take Zeke in the draft.   I'll take the second question first:  If you want to

YA BETTA SUE SOMEBODAYYYY: Your [DFO] Law and Fantasy Football Mailbag

Nazis! Suspensions! Nuclear War! Trades! What a week for questions about law and fantasy football!  Unsurprisingly, most of your law questions were about our Ululating Sack Of Wet FartsDear Leader and the legal ramifications of his relentless drive to make this world an even more terrible place than it already