Your “Final Day of the Beer Selling Season” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Today is the last day of the regular season at The Nat, so forgive me if the preview is short. I'm excited because people will be throwing their unused gift certificates at us, and the kegs we don't drain we drink! I'm taking a cab home because I anticipate being

Your “Well, This Is Awkward…” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News: The Lions have agreed to pay Matt Stafford $135 million in a five-year extension. That's $27 million per year, or 16% of the team's 2017 salary cap if the rules were strictly followed. It includes a $50 million signing bonus, with a bunch of cap-affecting tricks like bonuses

Your “If Monday Had A Face, I’d Punch It” Evening Open Thread

NFL News: Getting an early start to missing part of the season, Vontaze Burfict is facing a suspension for an illegal hit back in the Bengals second pre-season game versus the Chiefs. If it happens, his repeat offender status will result in it being five games, and cost Burfict $882,353 in

Your “No Problems Here – What Are You Talking About?”

NFL News: Tony Romo will miss Friday's Chiefs-Seahawks game because his son was born last night. Good for him. Little Jones McCoy Romo joins older brothers Hawkins & Rivers in the Romo playpen. I'm guessing the name is a tribute to JERRAL, and an unsilent thank-you for the bonus money

Your “Today I Settle All Family Business” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News: Le'Veon Bell will return to the Steelers on September 1st: It's looking a tad more serious in New York, as reports are OBJ may miss the season opener at the Cowboys due to the ankle injury he picked up against the Browns. The MRI has revealed only a

Your “Let’s Just Agree to Disagree” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News: ESPN says ankle sprain, but OBJ & the Giants are getting an MRI just to be sure. And just to pour on the salt, PFT questions whether OBJ should have held out, to avoid the preseason bumps & bruises...and given them copy to talk about his petulance. Cam

Your “Azathoth Have Mercy!—Light Is Dark and Dark Is Light” Monday Evening Open Thread

NFL News: The darkness that enveloped the continent around 10:21 AM Pacific came as news emerged that Roger Goodell had signed a five-year extension to remain League commissioner. As the League is no longer a non-profit entity, details werent disclosed, but two things are certain: His is the only guaranteed

Your “Second Verse – Same As The First!” Thursday Evening Open Thread

NFL News: In a harbinger of what this season might look like, Alex Smith's agent is already talking about where he might end up next year. "Alex is the present, and as good a football player as he is, he's going to have opportunities whether it's in Kansas City or

Your “Maybe Everything Should Be On Tape-Delay” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News: Ezekiel Elliott's appeal is scheduled for August 29th. And he may have something more credible than the "crazy bitch" defence first alluded to yesterday: Texts involving using a sex tape as blackmail. Separate texts involving false accusations about domestic violence. Harold Henderson, the arbiter who also handled the

Your “So Damn Tired and Uninspired” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

I just don't have much in terms of creativity today, so I apologize for going to my weekend well to tie something into the Miami QB situation: NFL News: Break out a fresh bag of "Feline Pine", because Jay Cutler is going to start this Thursday. At most, he plays the

Your “The Lesson Learned Is ‘Not To Care'” Monday Evening Open Thread

Well, I believe I speak for the majority when I say, those were some real Week-1 preseason games. Oh, and fuck Dean Spanos with a rusty shiv. μαλάκας! NFL Notes: The Lord giveth, and BLEERGH taketh away: A week after signing a new five-year deal, Devonta Freeman is in concussion protocol. He'll sit

Your “Multiple Games = Multiple Disappointments” Thursday Evening Open Thread

NFL Notes: The pre-season schedule begins in earnest tonight, with 7 games, "highlighted" by a game of musical QB chairs in Chicago between the Bears & Broncos. Elway could come out of the box & be as effective. Hell - mid-stroke Kubiak would be better than most of what we'll