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Category: Team Previews
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Nary a Hope or a Prayer: A 2021 Arizona Cardinals Team Preview
Listen, we do this every year. Every. Single. Got. Damn. Year. Dogg. And what are the three common threads we see? 1. Team Owner…
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NFL Before-The-Season Preview: The Brown Noise
The year was 1995. The Browns were told that there would not be the Browns come 1996, as the team would be moving to…
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“If Bland Were Whelming!” – An Atlanta Falcons Preview
I know what you’re thinking – “Wait – what the hell is he doing here?” Hold on, pretty deaf girl. I never said I…
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Yay, We’re All Happy About Brady’s Seventh Ring – The 2021 DFO Tampa Bay Buccaneers Preview
600,000 Americans died last year from a disease that kept them from getting enough air in their lungs, so it was only appropriate that…
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Donks In The Year of Our Plague LAWD 2021!
Praise Jeebus, proper FITBAW is just around the corner. And though GAMBLOR is open for many Central European futbol leagues…my soul is turning to MOAR…
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Hockey and Hooch Thursday night open thread
Are you a toothless drunk named Gary? Do you like watching toothless ice football players? Do you like booze? Have we* got a rushed,…
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#DisBelieveland: 2020 Cleveland Browns Bye Week Update
Quick: without looking at their record, are the Cleveland Browns a good team or a bad team? Got an answer? You’re wrong. …
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Nobody’s Chargers 2020 Season Preview: No Control
INTERIOR – NONDESCRIPT DOMICILE, CARSON, CA – EVENING [A MAN sits alone on a couch in his living room, completely fixated on the TV…
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Football’s Sh***iest Cosplay: Your 2020 Detroit Lions Season Preview
Hot Taek: The Detroit Lions are perhaps the most consistently DFO Team in the league. Why? Schadenfreude. They jettisoned Jim Caldwell for the sin…
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Never Mind, I’ll Do It Myself: Your 2020 Houston Texans Preview
There is a running gag at Door Flies Open that the Houston Texans are a fictional NFL team, so nondescript and devoid of character…