Two Ears, One Mouth and All–DFO Mailbag Submissions

Thanks to those who participated in the debut edition of Mouth Flies Open, the don't-call-it-a-sequel revamped reboot of the DFO Advice Mailbag.  We had some great questions, some meh questions, and some hopefully entertaining if not-cranked-all-the-way-to-eleven-illuminating advice. The only way this advice column works is with audience participation--from DFOers, your friends,

Instant Hippo Thoughts

"OW MY HEAD!" "UGH, MY STOMACH!" "YIKES,  MY BALLS!" These may be some of the thoughts going through Hippo's head today as he is under the weather and has requested assistance in fulfilling his weekly report to you fine folks. Now,  granted,  I do not speak hillbilly although I can understand it. Thus,  you

2018-2019 Chicago Bears Preview

Photo Credit: Some Weird Youtube Video with Adrian Amos Every year of my football-watching life, the off-season has been a giant slog punctuated by tiny dopamine hits along the otherwise slow, cruel, and seemingly endless march to opening kickoff. As soon as the Super Bowl was over, I craved football's return.

Baker And Tyrod Got An RV. Let’s Talk About That.

The reigning Heisman winner and latest number one overall draft pick is a Cleveland Brown. This is not news, provided you are somebody who does not spend every Sunday talking about how you don’t even watch the NFL anymore, is Brett Favre still in the league? Despite being perceived as

Can’t Bear to Say Goodbye

Photo Credit: Bears Twitter As is well known to both Boyz and Men, it is so hard to say goodbye. Apparently that can be true even when you've already parted. Matt Forte and Devin Hester were two of the greatest players to wear GSH on their sleeves, but they had to move

Request Line: Things You Maybe Heard Right

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY. A grizzled old man settles into the chair behind the microphone.  He looks through the glass at the GUEST PRODUCER, who has been silently staring at him since his arrival at the station.  The grizzled old man starts to talk but wisely thinks better of it

The Commissioner Calls a Meeting

Banner Image via   Thank you all for coming on such short notice. With the conference championships upon us this weekend, this meeting had to happen at once. I think we all know that this has been an extraordinarily exciting post-season. Comebacks and rallies and heartbreak and a quarterback throwing a touchdown

Let’s Take a Field Trip!

Banner image via some random ass site Scene: A large industrial footprint that, come on, you can read the banner image, right? Clearly we're at a recycling facility. Let's say it's north of New York for proximity to the NFL offices and because where exactly doesn't matter. It's fiction, just suspend

2017 Quotables – Week 15 Results

Banner Image from Pinterest.  What? Screw you.  And yes, he is a big ol' meathead. Buenos días, damas y caballeros. Your usual consigliere de Quotables has decided that you all deserve his entertainment but not his judgment. So you're stuck with me. Boo fucking hoo. This week's submissions here. You'll note not all