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Author: jjfozz
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Insert Freezing Balls and Snowballs Joke Here
“Now is the winter of our discontent.” Soupy Sales wrote that and became one of the greatest writers of our day. But as much…
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Stab My Ears with Broken Mirros
I love music. You name it, I will listen to it. Except new country, I’d rather be locked in a closet with Cris Collinsworth,…
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Baltimore Bourble: The 2016 Ravens
Do you know that Baltimore’s old nickname was “Mob Town”? Do you know that the more things change, the more they remain the same?…
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Drowning Lessons, A Look at My Shitty Pool
So summer is over at my pool. Boo fucking hoo. I hate the place and wish it sprung a gigantic hole that allowed water…
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No One Cares About Your Stupid Life
You know what I need to know RIGHT FUCKING NOW? I need to know what you had for breakfast, and lunch, and dinner. And…
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A Stupid, Pointless Game Played by Top Shelf Douchebags
The last time my father hit me was on a golf course. I was 30 and he was 64. I was on a golf…
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The Dunghill of College Sports
College football is a fucking joke. Hey look! Iowa Asshole Polytechnic edged out Oklahoma Electrical Training Institute 65-8! It was close and we can’t…
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Tear Out Your Tongue
I’m tired of talking. To everyone. Friends, coworkers, neighbors, children – those little heathens don’t pay attention anyway. The conversations we have are so…
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Conflicted Feelings About Confusing Shit
Christmas is almost here. And I don’t mean that fucking bullshit holiday where I spent a million dollars on gifts and hear my kids…
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Car Shopping With Rosie O’Donnell
The only car salesman I have ever liked was the one portrayed by Kurt Russell in the 80’s classic “Used Cars.” If you haven’t…