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Category: Bastards
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No One’s Chargers 2019 Preview: Top Bolt
INTERIOR – CHARGERS WAR ROOM, MIRA MAR, CA – MIDDAY MAJ. TOM TELESCO: [Walking in] Good morning Tony. COMM. ANTHONY LYNN: Morning Tom. RADIO: Ghost Audience,…
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Tripping Over The Light Fantastic; or A Desperate Plié: Your All-Dancing 2019 Buffalo Bills Season Preview
[Author’s Note: As promised/threatened, this year’s Buffalo Bills Season Preview will be conducted in the medium of interpretive dance. Yes, I know it’s particularly…
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Santa Clara Diet: A San Francisco 49ers Preview
[Author’s Note: In support of DFO’s efforts to maintain its position at the bleeding edge of Blog Innovation, I have chosen to conduct this…
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TB12Tots: Your Guide to Safely Endangering Children
Hi, I’m Tom Brady. You may remember me from giving your asshole acquaintances from Boston an undeserved sense of accomplishment for the last 18…
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Guay Referendum: 2019 Copa América Day 3
Today is the debut of Paraguay and Uruguay in the Copa América. Fish out of sand Qatar takes on Paraguay and the better Guay…
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We need to talk about last night’s Paradise Hotel: Chlamydia Stew
I swear to you that I have better taste. I do not just exclusively watch skanky reality television. Last night, I had finished dinner…
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A Tradition Like Any Other: Augusta National Can F*** Right Off
Here’s a secret: I despise the dipshits who run Augusta National Golf Club. Glad-handing, misogynist dickheads who use the ideas of “tradition” and “the…
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Sermon on the Mound
Author’s Note: This is a piece I started and stopped about a hundred times since last fall. All this is long past now. We’re…
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So Much Lesser Footy, So Much HATE
Yes, that obnoxious bleating Geordie will be creaming his knickers all over Real and Barca this afternoon (2:45 EST, BeIn). Yet another el Clasico,…
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CrimeBeat!: Patriots Schadenfreude Day Edition
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh dear…it’s so sweet it should come with a vial of insulin…I though “ROFL” was just an expression…. Brothers and sisters, we live…