Screw It, I’m Quittin – The 2019 Indianapolis Colts On Bye

In retrospect, it may not have been wise to make the 2019 Indianapolis Colts Preview post all about Andrew Luck. Just before the season started, Andrew's agent gave Jim Irsay the Sister Christian treatment; e.g., "You know that boy don't wanna play no more with you...it's true." MOTORIN WHAT'S YOUR PRICE FOR Sorry.

2019 Chicago Bears at the Bye

As I write this, the Bears have just finished choking away a game in London, like Theresa May but with none of the charm. They only had a lead at all due to a fantastic second half comeback, and then the last few drives were marred by incompetence and malfeasance,

Go Home, Fate, You’re Drunk: 2019 Detroit Lions at the Bye

[INTERIOR, STAGE WITH CLOSED CURTAIN. From offstage, muffled and slurred shouts are heard, mostly inaudible but include variations on "Not goin' outthere!" and "You an whose army, cock-knocker?"] [Eventually, REVEREND MAYHEM is shoved through the curtain and stumbles into frame, one hand clutching a bottle of brown liquid labeled "JJ Fozz

The Miami Dolphins at the Bye

Another sold out crowd in Miami

Hello everyone! Welcome to the Dolphins at the bye—also known as the one week where Miami can’t lose on the field.  I’m your host, Wakezilla. Since this diarrhea-inside-a-dumpster-fire-outside-of-an-abortion-clinic season is going according to plan, there isn’t much to talk about, except for two positive stories: Raekown McMillan has turned into an

Huh…..: Your San Francisco 49ers Bye Week Update

DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES!??!?!? YES!!!! Friends, I have preached before at interminable length about how we live in  The New Time of Wonders. Now BLEERGH!, Shan'khlor and the other Elderly Gods have seen fit to show us another Sign and Portent. Yes, it is Week 4, and Jimmy Garoppolo's bones and tendons

Way Too Many Words on the Jets at the Bye: A Jets at the Bye Post

Can I count those as way too many words? I mean I'll ramble to get to the minimum because this is me. Hmm, what to say considering I've watched about one half of Jets football. The Jets decided to take a page from the most successful team in New York, the

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! at the 2018 Bye

Holy cats, amirite??  I'mma just leave this here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Szr7wPmdMHE OK, fine, I will type some more.  These guys are for real, despite a slew of injuries (Two of the Good Ones being the real problem, as Josh Reynolds can capably step into the Cooper Kupp role). You can't dismiss them based on schedule. 

Jets at the Bye: A Jets at the Bye Post

This was going to be another Senor in the Underworld post. It was going to be a sit-in on the poker night that Hades referred to last time, with Hades, Persephone, Senor, and maybe a couple of others, maybe the redhead with the axe referenced from the Pro Bowl post—that

Miami Dolphins at the Bye: Limpin’ ain’t easy

As an older millennial . . . /Wakezilla dodges batteries, tin cans and feces thrown at him I was trained to hate MASH, particularly the theme song because it signified the end of two wonderful hours of Simpsons and Fresh Prince of Bel-Air syndicated episodes on CBC. Unfortunately, this song best describes

Bye Week Update: New England Patriots

The Patses are 7-3! Really goods, we is! Only two games up on the rest of the division, oh nos! We'll wins it again anyways! Lost to nasty Lionses, and Jagses and Titanses! Just barely beat the Bearses, it dids! We beats the Chiefses and Packers! The defence, especially the pass rush, is getting ruineds! Undefeated