Li’l Johnny Saves Christmas, Part One --or, This Is Not the True Meaning of Christmas, Or Even “Saves,” For That Matter-- I. Best Laid Plans Christmas had come round again, And Johnny was going away He already made excuses to friends For missing Christmas Day. He’d packed away his sunscreen, He’d bought extra flip-flops Johnny even paid a little extra For the
Crossovers
You Gotta Unleash the Dragon’s Lair
Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.
A Correction is Made. A Promise is Kept.
DFO Halloween Stories: Mr. Brown’s Shortcut
EXT: Pittsburgh Steelers practice facility. Antonio Brown and Markus Wheaton are catching passes from a Jugs passing machine: Markus Wheaton: "Damn, Antonio! You can catch some serious fastballs from that machine. How many passes do you catch each day?" Antonio Brown: "I guess a couple hundred a day. Give or take. Gotta stay sharp
Is Bad NFL better than No NFL?
As I write this, we are in the Saturday before Week 8 of the 2016 Regular Season. We started out with the treat that was the high-chroma matchup of Thursday Night Turdball poster children, the Jaguras and Titans. Luckily for Bortles and Jaymes aficionados/fantasy football owners, the Garbage Time King did
MLB Game Day Experience: A Boots on the Ground Special. NLCS Game 4 Cubs at Dodgers.
Hillary Clinton Gets a New Mock Debate Partner
INT. OFFICE - HILLARY CLINTON’S CAMPAIGN OFFICE HEADQUARTERS, BROOKLYN - DAY ROBBY MOOK: ...and so that puts us at a 94% chance of winning the election and Obama's dream of turning the United States into a gay Muslim caliphate is one step closer. HILLARY CLINTON: I like it! MOOK: That said, I think it's now
Colin Kaepernick Makes A Tough Decision
Getting to Know the New Dallas Quarterback.
*Banner photo courtesy of Getty Images [interior new Dallas Cowboys practice facility with OC Scott Linehan and HC Jason Garrett] JG: "Hey Scott!" SL: "Howdy Jason." JG: "Gonna be a hell of a ride this year, are you ready for it?" SL: "You betcha! Ya know, this year just feels different. We've had to deal
Minnesota Vikings Preview: Coach Zimmer Addresses the Team.
[interior US Bank Stadium coaches office. Inside Coach Zimmer is tirelessly studying game film of the Tennessee Titans] /knock on door [door flies open] Zygi Wilf: "Yo Zimmy! How the hell are yez? Gettin' the boys ready for another fuckin' season over heah?" Coach Zimmer: "You know I am Zygi! I've got big plans
Hired Goonies? I Didn’t Hire Any Goonies…
INT. A DINGY RESTAURANT BASEMENT - DAY A struggling prisoner sits tied to a chair. A pair of goons stand over him menacingly. GOON 1: When's Mama gettin' back? GOON 2: [puffing on a cigar] Should be any minute now. GOON 1: [to prisoner] When she gets here, tubby, you're gonna spill your guts. GOON 2: You'se better
Hillary Clinton Gets a New Campaign Adviser
[BROOKLYN, NEW YORK: HILLARY CLINTON'S CAMPAIGN OFFICE HEADQUARTERS] ROBBY MOOK: ...and that's why I'm no longer allowed at the Costco on 118th Street. But enough about my day off! As your Campaign Manager, I want to be the first to congratulate you on officially being declared the presumptive nominee! HILLARY CLINTON: Thank you,