Your “Hmm…Who Else Can DFO Help Bring Down?” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Russians. They're everywhere. They come in all shapes & sizes.   And trying to infiltrate everything, even this here site. But why is that? Is it because of the sympathies expressed during our World Cup Previews? No. Is it because we have pointed out the historical badasses that have wrought havoc on Mother Russia from time to

Annual Performance Evaluation: Goodell, R.

NEW YORK   Umm Shari, I think I'm going to take the afternoon off. You can too if you want, just make sure to send James Harrison another $50,000 fine. Call it "detrimental to the shield, he's a poopyhead." You know how to make it do. Ahh...another season in the books, quite a

A Night at the Opera: BOLTMANIAN RHAPSODY

♫ Set to the music of “Bohemian Rhapsody” from Queen ♫ FANS: Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a cash grab, One escape from re-al-ity. Open your eyes, Look up to the skies and see… DEAN SPANOS: I'm such a rich boy, I want your sympathy, Because Dad-dy came, I will go, Pretty high; lots of

Your “Welcome To Day 4 – ‘It Can’t Stay the Same, Can It?’” Thursday Evening Open Thread

Hi, my name is Beerguy, and I'd like to talk with you about that pit you feel in your stomach. Or maybe it's in your heart. Well, it can't be your head, because you're an NFL fan, and Roger Goodell doesn't believe in brain trauma. Often times, people lose interest in things

Your “Welcome To Day 3 – Bargaining With Bargaining” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Hi, my name's Beerguy, and I'd like to talk with you about the future. Super Bowl LI(cked) is in the book, so it's time to start looking forward to next season. If you're like me, your team didn't win, and that's okay. It's okay because your team has learned from its mistakes,

CrimeBeat!: Whistling Past the Graveyard Edition

/closes eyes, pinches bridge of nose, puffs out cheeks and blows out breath. Ok. Ok. You can do this, Mayhem. //opens eyes, stares at the gaunt, haunted face in the mirror. It's going to be fine. You can make lemonade. You can make a silk purse. You can be a lawyer and politics

New DFO Addition!

We at DFO are incredibly pleased to have scored a major coup!  We've been working hard to give you the best #content on the NFL, cooking, and anal sex this side of the Internet and we are proud to present to you the newest member of our team.  It was

Someone Had To Do It – A DFO Hate Week Patriots Super Bowl Preview

So, the Patriots & Tom Brady have a chance to win their fifth Super Bowl. Let's check in with North America for their reaction: How the fuck did that get in there? Well, there's always one or two in a crowd. Back to business. People, do you want the Patriots to win? Well, that

Better Know A Mythic Figure: GMesis

Species Name: GMesis Shivathal (rhymes with Nemesis AND Genesis). However NONE EVER LOOK LIKE HER. But we view them as so due to their magical powers. Individual Names: Balkeballtarkomous (extinct), Joneszilla (unkillable owner hybrid), Slingbladeus (um...incriminating evidence?), Grigsonelle (extinct) From: Boardroom Scarface binges, Dartboard throws, "Hey he knows the owner!" Descended from/Spawned by: Unclear. Nepotism helps

Your “DFO Super Bowl Hate Week” Thursday Evening Open Thread

So, it's time to talk about the Demon King. Sorry. I meant Roger Goodell, not the monster that occupies his soul. I decided to save the League's shittiest shitweasel for tonight, because I wanted to attempt a special FJM/KSK-style takedown to his "State of the League" 45-minute address from Wednesday night, using what

Your “DFO Super Bowl Hate Week” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

I was tempted to just type, "I HATE THE FUCKING PATRIOTS! forty times to just get to 200 words. But I forced myself to look at why, exactly, I hate the Patriots so, so much. So I tried to remember their history. Please forgive the length of the journey. It's hard

Celebrity Superb Owl Picks: Sean Spicer

COWARDLY MEDIA WHORE TRADING JOURNALISTIC INTEGRITY FOR ACCESS: Good evening, and welcome to CNN. Tonight, we turn to a somewhat lighter topic than normal: picking the winner of the upcoming Super Bowl. With us tonight is professional faux-liberal doormat Alan  Colmes... COLMES: Thank you. I'm just so happy to be... WHORE: And