[turns BEST BRA EVER! admercial off] It's almost too much football, isn't it? Kidding! No, it is not. TO THE GAMES!!! Jets/Bills: Did the Vikes front office giggle a bit when they traded the league's best downfield wr (% of passes caught 20+ yards from LOS) to the Bills so that he could
LOLJETS
Oh Yeah, It’s Time for a Jets Preview (or, Quarantine in the Underworld)
Scene: The underworld! Hades, the god of the Greek underworld, and Persephone, his wife and the goddess of both the underworld and vegetation, are at home watching the Marble League, because of course they are. Persephone is wearing a Raspberry Racers shirt, while Hades is wearing, out of all teams,
Horatio’s ‘Let’s Try To Get 5 Out Of 32 This Year, Dumbass’ Mock Draft
Your “It’s Almost Over And We Learned So Little” Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread
Shall we get right at it? We shall. TO THE GAMES! Jets/Bills: [shakes head] The Jets won 6 games? How? Anyhow, it's not a far reach to posit that as a kid, Josh Allen must have thrived during 'unstructured playtime'. Browns/Bengals: Much like Sex Panther, this game smells like Bigfoot's dick. One must give Cincy
Another Jets Preview in the Underworld, 2019 Edition
Right, this. Uh, shit. I haven't been down in a while, being busy and all. Eh, let's start this and I imagine someone will call and yell at me. So! Another year, another Jets preview. Oh, another coach, this time replacing Todd "Not Sally" Bowles https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhIt69v0yzY (I've wanted to use that for a
NFL Speakeasy Stories: Relinquish
Angel’s Share, East Village. 2:47 am, May 22nd, 2019 Door handles. Door handles jiggle when they are locked. Why do door handles jiggle when they are locked but turn smoothly otherwise? This thing isn't even supposed to be locked. These are the thoughts of a typically straight-laced professional on the tail end
Your “‘Of Course I’m Pro-Bowel!’ -Adam Viniateri” Sunday Afternoon Free-for-all Open Thread
Your “Shall I Compare These Games To A Summer’s Day?” Sunday NFL Football Open Thread
Naw, I don't think so-it's already been done by Shakey The Sphere and that was some time ago. Let's compare each of these games (many of which are...hold onto your barnacles...completely irrelevant!) to say, an offering at a buffet-style restaurant or a meal/snack I enjoyed as a child. What's that? Did
Your [checks with Brick] “Mid-Morning, Maybe Early Afternoon, Late Autumn-ish, at the very least” Open Thread Featuring Football
Can we just all agree to disagree and pretend as though it wasn't important yet silently grumble to ourselves about 'that guy'? It's The Passive-Aggressive Way! Let's wander once more into the britches. TO THE GAMES! Jets/Titans: Tenny had plans to ram the ball right down its opponents throats all year long but
Your “NFLN Leaves Canuck Football Watchers Out in the Cold” Sunday Afternoon Open Thread
In Which We Try To Say Strange New Phrases
Your “Batten Down The Hatches!” Sunday Morning NFL Football Open Thread
Meh. It's sunny and warm here. TO THE GAMES! Brownies/Saints: He gone. Rumour has it Josh Gordon showed up to the Browns practice facility and was "not himself". High. He was high. Funny thing, when I started doing these game intros I was told there would be no meth. smh. Bolts/Bills: Last week Buffalo