Request Line: On The Clock

INT. RECORDING STUDIO - DAY ROGER GOODELL: ...and so I handed him a six-game suspension! Ha ha ha ha! Isn't that hilarious? PRODUCER: [appearing horrified] I'm not sure that skipping a mandatory league seminar to take your mother to a chemotherapy session really qualifies as... GOODELL: [sips coffee, interrupts] So we're good to

DFO Radio: Support System

My review of the Wyndham Microtel in Ceres, California. I did not expect to find four-star accommodation in this "suburb" of Modesto, which appears to be Maverick's definition of a "target-rich enviroment" if you are a person who fucks cows. I did, however, expect that I might be lucky enough to

Request Line: Support System

INT. RECORDING STUDIO - DAY A harried-looking producer negotiates with two young men.  PRODUCER: ...it's not that I don't appreciate both of you turning up, it's just that I don't know if you can both fit in there, to be honest. TEDDY BRIDGEWATER: Nah, we'll make it work. JOSH MCCOWN: It's not like one of

DFO Radio: Cities

First: an annoucement.  The third annual "Atwater March" pub crawl will be taking place in my neighborhood on March 24.  We'll be meeting at 3 p.m. at The Roost, then heading to the Morrisson, the Bigfoot Lodge, the Tam O'Shanter, and finally closing things out at The Griffin.  All your

Request Line: Cities

  I'm pressed for time, so there will sadly be no introductory sketch for Request Line this week.  Last week's theme was "Makin' Movies" and quite naturally that topic bled into songs about Hollywood.  So I thought I'd extend that theme into this week and make this week's topic all cities.  Since

DFO Radio: Makin’ Movies

Welcome to yet another edition of DFO Radio.  Last week, Hollywood insiders with a passing interest in sports waited with bated breath to find out whether Kobe Bryant would be offered membership into an exclusive club that includes Roman Polanski, Harvey Weinstein, Dustin Hoffman, and Casey Affleck.  Fortunately for Kobe,

Request Line: Makin’ Movies

INT. DFO PRODUCTION OFFICE - DAY. A pair of sleazy Hollywood producers are deep in conversation with an NFL tight end. RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: ...and I'll be honest, this is a much better offer than you'll get from, say, Old School Zero over at Sony. DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS: Ha ha ha! They can't even

DFO Radio: Belle of the Ball

So apparently Kevin Smith (the filmmaker, not the former Lions running back) suffered a pretty serious heart attack on Sunday.  He was brought to Glendale Hospital which is a stone's throw away from where I live.  It's so close that I even thought about walking the short mile over to

Request Line: Belle of the Ball

INT. RECORDING STUDIO - DAY We join Request Line in process.  The PRODUCER is seated comfortably at the outer console, sipping coffee.  He raises a hand and counts down from five before punching a button and pointing at the figure seated inside. KIRK: [runs hand through hair] You like that? Huh?  Ha

DFO Radio: Winter Wonderland

Like many Americans, I'm a bit obsessed with the implosion of our current White House administration.  So much so that I have attempted to restrict my consumption of political news by only allowing myself to read about it while I'm on the toilet (as I feel a Venn diagram of

Request Line: Winter Wonderland

INT. RECORDING STUDIO - DAY The PRODUCER, portraying a false sense of cheerfulness, flips switches and adjusts levels in preparation for the afternoon's show.  DJ 3000 is still in sulk mode. PRODUCER: So, you're still upset about last week? DJ 3000: ... PRODUCER: Come on, don't be like that.  Fumblesnapskin was a big get

DFO Radio: Divine Intervention

So when I was a little kid, I had very blond hair.  Like, platinum blond.  My brother and sister were the same.  As we got older, our hair got darker, eventually settling into its final color by my mid-twenties.  It was around that time of my life that I was