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"I, frankly, am just amazed that someone from the Patriots organization would cheat!" – Dok

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Category: Assholes

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  • A New Yorker’s Postmortem on This Election

    A New Yorker’s Postmortem on This Election

    November 11, 2016

    Well, this election has come and gone and taken years off our life with its vitriol. Colbert was right, too much venom and it…

  • This Little Piggy Went 8-8: Your Bills Bye Week Update

    This Little Piggy Went 8-8: Your Bills Bye Week Update

    November 10, 2016

    The Bills are 4-5 at the bye week. That’s your update. Normally, I would give a pseudo-humorous recap of the ups and down of…

  • MILLENIALS ARE PIGS AND SHOULD BE IMPRISONED

    MILLENIALS ARE PIGS AND SHOULD BE IMPRISONED

    November 7, 2016

    If you’re a millennial, you are a douche-pussy. And I fucking hate you. If you’re a millennial and reading this article, or a regular…

  • DFO Mock Draft: Presidential Write-Ins

    DFO Mock Draft: Presidential Write-Ins

    November 4, 2016

    You might have heard on the news that there’s an election happening soon for some government job on Tuesday. The two main candidates have…

  • Cam Gets His Call

    Cam Gets His Call

    November 3, 2016

    Operator: Charlottesville Telephone Operator Extension 035115, how may I direct your call?….I see, yes sir, I believe he is expecting you….(Phone Clicks)…Alright, you are connected to…

  • CrimeBeat!: Death to the Mortals! Edition

    CrimeBeat!: Death to the Mortals! Edition

    October 27, 2016

    Friends, Halloween is upon us. And to be frank, it’s perhaps the most depressing holiday on the calendar for the precise life-space-time coordinates I…

  • 25 NFL Questions From An Uninformed And Easily Distracted Fan: Week 7

    25 NFL Questions From An Uninformed And Easily Distracted Fan: Week 7

    October 27, 2016

    As an homage to the overused sports writing trope of “[X number] Burning, Itching, Throbbing Questions for [X Team/X Sport/X League]”, I present to you…

  • Sunday Night FOOTBAW!! Game Thread – Week 7, 2016

    Sunday Night FOOTBAW!! Game Thread – Week 7, 2016

    October 23, 2016

    Hey, doesn’t that feature pic make you want to cheer FOAR the SeaTruthers, nanobubbles and all? Seattle at Arizona (8:30, NBC) After a dominant…

  • CrimeBeat!: Peter Pantsless Edition

    October 20, 2016

    So here we are. We are here. And that’s a shame, because on a bright, shiny Fall day we should not be indoors, chained…

  • 25 NFL Questions From An Uninformed and Easily Distracted Fan: Week 6

    25 NFL Questions From An Uninformed and Easily Distracted Fan: Week 6

    October 20, 2016

    As an homage to the overused sports writing trope of “[X number] Burning, Itching, Throbbing Questions for [X Team/X Sport/X League]”, I present to you…

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[DOOR FLIES OPEN]

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