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Category: Assholes
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A New Yorker’s Postmortem on This Election
Well, this election has come and gone and taken years off our life with its vitriol. Colbert was right, too much venom and it…
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This Little Piggy Went 8-8: Your Bills Bye Week Update
The Bills are 4-5 at the bye week. That’s your update. Normally, I would give a pseudo-humorous recap of the ups and down of…
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MILLENIALS ARE PIGS AND SHOULD BE IMPRISONED
If you’re a millennial, you are a douche-pussy. And I fucking hate you. If you’re a millennial and reading this article, or a regular…
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DFO Mock Draft: Presidential Write-Ins
You might have heard on the news that there’s an election happening soon for some government job on Tuesday. The two main candidates have…
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Cam Gets His Call
Operator: Charlottesville Telephone Operator Extension 035115, how may I direct your call?….I see, yes sir, I believe he is expecting you….(Phone Clicks)…Alright, you are connected to…
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CrimeBeat!: Death to the Mortals! Edition
Friends, Halloween is upon us. And to be frank, it’s perhaps the most depressing holiday on the calendar for the precise life-space-time coordinates I…
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25 NFL Questions From An Uninformed And Easily Distracted Fan: Week 7
As an homage to the overused sports writing trope of “[X number] Burning, Itching, Throbbing Questions for [X Team/X Sport/X League]”, I present to you…
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Sunday Night FOOTBAW!! Game Thread – Week 7, 2016
Hey, doesn’t that feature pic make you want to cheer FOAR the SeaTruthers, nanobubbles and all? Seattle at Arizona (8:30, NBC) After a dominant…
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25 NFL Questions From An Uninformed and Easily Distracted Fan: Week 6
As an homage to the overused sports writing trope of “[X number] Burning, Itching, Throbbing Questions for [X Team/X Sport/X League]”, I present to you…