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"THIS GUY, RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY, I CALL HIM PETE HEGSETH BECUASE HE LIKES TO DECLARE HIS BOMBERS HAVE DESTROYED SOMETHING WHEN THEY REALLY HAVEN’T" – LemonJello

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  • The Rams Bye Week Update

    The Rams Bye Week Update

    October 14, 2015

    Hey there, fellow Rams fans! Well, fuck you guys.  I’m only here until they move, so I can just openly root for my fantasy…

  • NFL Broadcast Maps, Week 6

    October 14, 2015

    Week Six is upon us.  Here are the broadcast maps for Sunday: Week 6, Broadcast Maps Cowboys, Raiders, Rams, and Bucs have Byes this…

  • Balls’ Bedtime Stories – Chapter Six

    October 13, 2015

    PART ONE – HAPPENSTANCE PART TWO – COINCIDENCE Chapter Six ‘Good morning, Alfred. All set?’ ‘Yes, sir, Mr. Balls.  Got your club in tiptop…

  • NFL Quarterly Report, Whose Season is Finished (Part Two)

    October 13, 2015

    Here are the NFC evaluations.  Again, only focusing on teams below .500 right now. NFC NFC EAST Dallas Cowboys Record 2-3, Points Scored: 101;…

  • NFL Quarterly Progress Report, Whose Season is Finished

    October 13, 2015

    We are five weeks into the NFL season and every team has played at least four games.  While we have a good idea who…

  • Sunday Morning Appetizers

    October 11, 2015

    Morning all. Week Five is here. College football Saturday featured a couple of upsets. Texas and Tennessee won. Utah went to the wire with…

  • Balls’ Bedtime Stories – Chapter Five

    October 9, 2015

    Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five It was a week later.  Balls stood at the open window of the 22nd…

  • Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

    Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

    October 9, 2015

    So we kicked off Week 5 last night with a 40-year-old Matt Hasselbeck in pants-shitting agony, somehow getting enough energy to overcome a bacterial…

  • And Now A Message from Draft Kings

    And Now A Message from Draft Kings

    October 9, 2015

    As the three co-founders of DraftKings, we want to speak to you directly about what has been going on. Nothing says we want to…

  • Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 7)

    Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 7)

    October 9, 2015

    The scene: The DFO clubhouse. Doktor Zymm is on her cell phone, and has several laptop computers open as well as several large books…

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[DOOR FLIES OPEN]

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