CAN YOU TASTE THE EXCITEMENT?! That's right - it's NHL playoff season. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjC50QRAXfI Or, as Canucks fans call it, "Ah fuck - the Leafs are still playing?" season, a.k.a. "Spring". As is DFO custom, interested parties have been surveyed for their favourite team's chances to survive the first round on their way to win
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DFO University – Sophomore Alcohol – Beer: Ales 220
Good morning class. Sorry about the change in location. Really, that hipster should have known better than to call Professor Fozz "sweetheart", but what's done is done. I'm gladdened to hear the remaining victims have been discharged from the hospital and are live-streaming this lecture via AOL Messenger. Thank God I found
DFO University – Introduction to Alcohol 101
Good afternoon students, I'm your professor - Dr. Robert Beer-Guy. Welcome to our classroom, the Prohibition Bar at the Rosewood Hotel Georgia. My regular attendance in this establishment makes it the perfect setting for our studies. Please take an available seat. Since people these days think all intellectuals are FAKE NEWS,
Your “DFO Super Bowl Hate Week” Thursday Evening Open Thread
All photoshops courtesy of Low Commander Welcome to the fourth night of the Second Annual DFO Hate Week, brought to you by hypocritical Midwestern values, lutefisk, and the Plow King. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCl-HXllGI0 Tonight we discuss the worst aspect of the NFL experience - rabid fan bases. Of course, any discussion of NFL fans must, legally,
DFO “Insiders” Predict the Championship Round!
Championship weekend is here! Before getting started let's address the obvious. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWe1KY8HOCg Trust me I watched every replay and this was definitely the best angle. Turn the volume up for this one. Having been to US Bank Stadium I can testify that it is loud during a regular season game I can't imagine
DFO Coaching Carousel 2017 Edition
The rumors are starting to heat up in advance of Week 17 games. Given that a lot of decisions are made immediately after the last game of the season, I've decided to go through each team to see what the outlook is for the coach instead of reacting after the
YA BETTA SUE SOMEBODAYYYY: Your [DFO] Law and Fantasy Football Mailbag
Nazis! Suspensions! Nuclear War! Trades! What a week for questions about law and fantasy football! Unsurprisingly, most of your law questions were about our Ululating Sack Of Wet FartsDear Leader and the legal ramifications of his relentless drive to make this world an even more terrible place than it already
DFO Radio: Get Th(rowback W)ee(k) Behind Me
Greetings! This week, we're very excited to be celebrating our 2nd anniversary of online residence here at doorfliesopen.com. But people forget that we've actually been producing material for 50 years now. Our first introduction to the public was via the Communist Party of the USA, after they discovered their newsletters
Tina’s DFO Erotic Friend Fiction #8 – “Model Behaviour”
Tonight's episode: "Model Behaviour" The apartment was littered with pizza boxes, empty 2 liter bottles, and take-out containers. The recycling cooperative van had not come around this week. Maybe they were at the Brewfest? All he knew is it was an inconvenience. He would have to put everything in a bag
DFO Archives: The Pope of Green Bay
As you well know, we at DFO strive mightily to keep you entertained and informed on current events concerning the NFL. Well Beerguyrob does anyway. The rest of us...ehh...well...hey what did you expect, you've been here this long. BUT! Did you know we have been providing this service for longer than
DFO Insider: Problems With The Third Act
INT. DFO PRODUCTION OFFICE – DAY A pair of sleazy Hollywood producers are pacing back and forth in front of a huge mahogany desk. They both exude nervous excitement, with one of them - DARKEST TIMELINE ZACH MORRIS - repeatedly checking the time on his Apple Watch. The other - RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY
DFO Radio: Exit Music (For a Season)
This week's special edition of Request Line was intended to deliver some much-needed catharsis to those of us who witnessed the most inexplicable choke job in the history of the Super Bowl, and for myself I'm happy to say that it really did help. I haven't felt much of an