Advice

Mouth Flies Open: A DFO Advice Column

BrettFavresColonoscopy -
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The team at DFO is committed to brightening the world with insights, observations, and dick jokes. This mailbag feature is just one more way in which we extend our mission beyond football to the rest of life's broad and multi-chromatic palette. Fantasy football questions still welcome but by no means required. 

Gazing Into Balls’ Crystal Balls – Week 15

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This is my weekly outlook as to who will make the playoffs,  who won’t,  who will win,  and who won’t. As promised,  I’m keeping track of what I say week to week so you can call me out on any bullshit you may see. At the end of the season,  I’ll recap

Through Which Open Door Should You Go?

BrettFavresColonoscopy -
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For many fantasy football players that aren't me, this is a huge week. And for many real football players that aren't in northern California, it's an even yuuuger week. I'm talking, of course, about the winter solstice. Oh, and fantasy football championships, and playoff hunts, and end of the year discussions

Gazing Into Balls’ Crystal Balls – Week 14

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This is my weekly outlook as to who will make the playoffs,  who won’t,  who will win,  and who won’t. As promised,  I’m keeping track of what I say week to week so you can call me out on any bullshit you may see. At the end of the season,  I’ll recap

Gazing Into Balls’ Crystal Balls – Week 13

ballsofsteelandfury -
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This is my weekly outlook as to who will make the playoffs,  who won’t,  who will win,  and who won’t. Essentially,  it will be an exercise in pissing Hippo and Moose off. Also,  as promised,  I’m keeping track of what I say week to week so you can call me out on any

That’s the Joke

blaxabbath -
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Disclaimer: This is absolutely not NFL-related. It's not even sports related. But it is joke-related. Continue at your own discretion. Or go back to working like a chump or reading something other than [DFO] while you sit on the can. Whatever. All- As many of you are aware, my wife and I

Boots On The Ground – “The Summer of 50” Part 1: A Veneer of Respectability

Beerguyrob -
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So, this summer I turned 50. Not a big deal to most, as average life spans are now at the highest they've ever been, as long as you aren't an Iraqi refugee or a black man from Chicago. But still, given the ulcers I developed at age 7 due to

Welcome New Commentists! Or, I have to do what now?

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Hello new person!  Last year, tWBS drew the short straw and did the introductory post to any of you that are just now discovering our little corner of the world. BTW, DFO is ranked in the 400,000s in terms of websites around the world, so that's... something! We do know we

Your Why Are You Not Out Watching Deadpool 2? Open Thread

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So, yesterday I left work a little early and caught a 4:00 PM showing of Deadpool 2 at my local mall/multiplex.  There are a lot of things to unwrap: I paid $20 USD for a fucking movie ticket at fucking 4:00 PM!  Granted, it was a Dolby cinema with fully

Your Tuesday Vuelta Champions League Quarters Preview

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While it may seem that the ties are already decided, as with many things in life,  you never fucking know.  Heck,  it was only last year that Barcelona turned around a 4-0 away deficit into a 6-1 home win to advance against Paris St. Germain. Does anyone this year have a