Assholes

“Iron Can’t Sharpen Rust” – Your Seahawks At Their Bye Update

Beerguyrob -
14

Renton, WA. Monday, October 16, 10:00AM. Inside Seahawks team HQ on Lake Washington, a Seahawks coaches meeting is taking place. Pete Carroll: Okay boys. Now, before we get started, I'm going to give everyone a minute to get it out of their system before I put this-here jar on the table and officially

Take A Knee Zeke! It’s The Dallas Cowboys At The Bye!

Horatio Cornblower -
31

Before we get into the travesty that the Cowboys' 2017 season is about the become, a few words about Jerry Jones.  Unless you were living under a rock the last couple of weeks you know that our grandstanding Vice-President, Mike "I'm Terrified Of Any Woman Not My Mother" Pence, attended

Your 2017 #DoLoThroDo Recap

The Maestro -
26

As I mentioned on Saturday, I did an incredibly dumb thing, where I embarked out to eat as many Doritos Locos tacos as I could in a one-hour time limit. You can check the last post here if you want a further explanation of the rules... In short, I lived

On Kneeling, Standing, and other controversial positions

ballsofsteelandfury -
40

A few years ago, I went on a nice vacation to various countries in Southeast Asia.  On that trip, I went to Hong Kong, Macau, Singapore, and I ended up in Bangkok, Thailand.  It was an airfare deal where you could do a certain number of countries for a certain

Week One is in books! Your [DFO] Law and Fantasy Football Mailbag

trollsoharduniversity -
3

I had a whole diatribe written before the mailbag but then my computer turned off and I lost most of it.  Anyway, how did Week 1 go for you?  Did you get enough flag-humping pseudo patriotism to last you until Thursday?  Did you cry with rage when the Patriots raised

HAPPY FUN BRAIN SCREAMING TIME: A Buffalo Bills Season Preview!

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
11

Holy shit, you guys, I can't remember going into a Bills regular season so stoked about their chances to Make Some Noise since... well, certainly since the expiration date on my collectable box of Flutie Flakes! Yes, it's been a long playoff drought. The Drought can now legally drive and get

I Want Carruth! You Can’t Handle Carruth! Your [DFO] Law and Fantasy Football Mailbag

trollsoharduniversity -
40

ALL RISE! The DFO Mailbag of Law and Fantasy Football is Now In Session (please see the disclaimer at the bottom of the page). The premise of this column is that I am a lawyer who excels at playing fantasy football.  Please write to me to ask me your most insane

2017 Indianapolis Colts Preview

Cuntler -
35

For your 2017 Indianapolis Colts preview, I had an imaginary conversion with myself.  Enjoy. So the Colts, huh.  Didn't they used to be good? The Indianapolis Colts, né Baltimore Colts, have quite a storied history.  The team began as the Miami Seahawks of the All America Football Conference in 1946 and were

A Place to Call Home

blaxabbath -
8

Operator: Greater Charlottesville Telephone Operator Extension, how may I direct your call?….I see...And these arrangements, you said, is for a football team?....Well sir, I think I can get you to the correct person who can help you. One moment please….(Phone Clicks)…Alright, you are connected to the video conference line to our Visitors and

YA BETTA SUE SOMEBODAYYYY: Your [DFO] Law and Fantasy Football Mailbag

trollsoharduniversity -
21

Nazis! Suspensions! Nuclear War! Trades! What a week for questions about law and fantasy football!  Unsurprisingly, most of your law questions were about our Ululating Sack Of Wet FartsDear Leader and the legal ramifications of his relentless drive to make this world an even more terrible place than it already