Executing Jameis: Your DFO Legal and Fantasy Football Mailbag

trollsoharduniversity - August 8, 2017August 8, 2017

ALL RISE! The DFO Mailbag of Law and Fantasy Football is Now In Session (please see the disclaimer at the bottom of the page). Greetings Dick Joke Enthusiasts. It's your old pal TrollSoHardUniversity. As some of you know, I'm licensed attorney and a fantasy football mastermind. Last January, I came

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The Maestro - January 29, 2016January 29, 2016

Because I am an idiot, I am planning on watching the Pro Bowl this weekend. Let's see: teams captained by... Devonta Freeman and Geno Atkins? And OBJ... and Aaron Donald? That's star power right there, folks. Can't wait to see John Kuhn and Latavius Murray catch a two-yard slant for a

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro - January 22, 2016January 22, 2016

As excited as I am for this weekend's games, no matter how you slice and dice it, there's going to be a nuclear-level amount of hot takes to be floating around the web come Monday morning. I can see them now already, and I'm dreading it: If the Panthers lose: "CAM

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro - January 15, 2016January 15, 2016

Man, the Steelers are so, so fucked. No Le'Veon Bell, THE BEN can't throw more than probably 10 yards, and now no Antonio Brown. Funny enough, all this destruction has come solely from Vontaze Burfict. I guess he's the new Bernard Pollard of the league. Admittedly, though, [puts on hazmat

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro - January 8, 2016January 8, 2016

With Fantasy Football now finished for the season (boooo), the Mailbag is now transitioning to that of a grab bag - your sex lives can still get plenty of attention, but anything goes for questions now! Sports! Violence! Inventions! Whatever ya got, it's all on the table here. So welcome back!

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The Maestro - December 18, 2015December 18, 2015

Star Wars is out today. I AM READY TO SHIT MY DICK. I rewatched the original trilogy all this week to get myself hyped. (Obviously not the new ones though. I may be younger than some of you all, but I'm not a dumbass. At least, not a gigantic one.)

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The Maestro - December 11, 2015

I've felt out of the loop on most sports things this week. I dunno why. Apparently the Vikes-Cards game was good last night? Regardless, I've got the weekend to get myself turned around and sufficiently intoxicated on both sports and alcohol, so hope is not lost for me. Hopefully your fantasy

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The Maestro - December 4, 2015December 4, 2015

I missed the Lions-Packers game last night, and I'm damn sorry I did. Because holy shit, when I got home from hockey and looked at my phone, I laughed for ten minutes after watching the last play highlights. God damn, Detroit. When Cleveland fans make fun of you - and especially

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The Maestro - November 27, 2015

Mmmm. Tryptophan. A hell of a drug. Hope everybody enjoyed their Thanksgivings yesterday, and kept the hand-to-hand combat to a minimum between yesterday's family gatherings and today's moronic Black Friday deals! Anyways, enough shoehorning topical #content into the intro. We need to talk essentials here. My takeaways from yesterday's matchups: Chip

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The Maestro - November 20, 2015November 20, 2015

Because I'm sensible (and also busy on Thursday nights) I didn't watch the Jags-Titans game last night. But I did see some highlights this morning, and woof. Man, these Color Rush uniforms are just god-awful, and especially so for Jacksonville. Do you think it's some elaborate game that Nike's playing

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The Maestro - November 6, 2015November 6, 2015

Was last night the most watchable Bengals-Browns game in a long time? I don't actually know, as I didn't get a chance to watch - I was busy being a good son and picking up my parents from the airport after a three-week vacation to Australia. Regardless, was nice to

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro - October 30, 2015

Halloween! A time where we actively permit children to work towards developing juvenile diabetes and/or lifelong psychological trauma, while we get inappropriately drunk and develop some incredibly fucked-up fetishes from costumes that were never intended to be sexy, but still somehow are. Also, Satanists or something. I dunno. At any