OK, Folks, I know I have been mad lazy what with producing no new kontent and barely commenting and all, and I should probably apologize for that... but it would be bullshit, because I'm not good at apologies and I honestly felt I didn't have much to contribute lately, so I
Assholes
Annual Performance Evaluation: Blandino, D.
CrimeBeat!: Gift Horse Edition Part I
CrimeBeat!: Breaking News Edition
WE NOW INTERRUPT YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED "HARD RIDE TO NOWHERE" TO BRING YOU THIS SPECIAL REPORT: Ladies and gentlemen, good evening. I have the solemn duty to inform you that at 4:42 p.m., DFO Substandard Time on February 16, an unscheduled Jets Schadenfreude Day was launched from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Reports are still
Better Know A Guy Who’s Going To Screw Up Your Franchise For The Next 2-4 Years: Aftermath Edition
Whelp, the NFL Head Coaching Carousel appears to have come to a screeching halt with Kyle Shanahan's coronation as 49er's head "coach". Unless, of course, Jim Irsay reawakens from one of his quaalude-induced power naps and drops the hammer on Chuck Pagano. So: who is going to be the albatross around
CrimeBeat!: Whistling Past the Graveyard Edition
And now, a message from King Roger I
♫ set to the music of "You'll Be Back" from Hamilton ♫ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdxLohjwhoQ You say The price of my sport's not a price that you're willing to pay, You cry There's nothing to do but hate-watch and hope Tom Brady dies. Why so sad? Remember we made an arrangement to dictate your falls, Now you're making me mad, 'Cause maybe the season
Your “DFO Super Bowl Hate Week” Thursday Evening Open Thread
So, it's time to talk about the Demon King. Sorry. I meant Roger Goodell, not the monster that occupies his soul. I decided to save the League's shittiest shitweasel for tonight, because I wanted to attempt a special FJM/KSK-style takedown to his "State of the League" 45-minute address from Wednesday night, using what
Joe and Troy: A Viewpoint
(Based on somewhat accurate reports.) America's Game of the Weak! Welcome to this sea of unwashed, drunken hobbits. I am here, despite my pleas, alongside this braindead troll. So Troy where do you think you are this time? I MUST KILL BATMAN! I'm sorry folks it seems Troy thinks he's still King Tut.
Celebrity Superb Owl Picks: Sean Spicer
COWARDLY MEDIA WHORE TRADING JOURNALISTIC INTEGRITY FOR ACCESS: Good evening, and welcome to CNN. Tonight, we turn to a somewhat lighter topic than normal: picking the winner of the upcoming Super Bowl. With us tonight is professional faux-liberal doormat Alan Colmes... COLMES: Thank you. I'm just so happy to be... WHORE: And
An Oath to Bleergh
We speak openly of Bleergh in this house. He doth rule our being. Believing in his ways is immaterial, as we have all exclaimed faint promise of hope that he will guide our chosen toward salvation. He cares not. His way is law, and we are all victim to it.
CrimeBeat!: Giving Up the Gun Edition
[Note From The "Author": pursuant to a number of comments across multiple posts, CrimeBeat! will officially be a politics-free zone until things calm the fuck down. I trust that you are all (mostly) intelligent adults who understand the responsibility to keep yourselves informed and participate in the political process. I