World Cup 2018 Panama Preview: The Dirtiest Players in the Game

Wakezilla - June 8, 2018June 8, 2018

Panama is an interesting team (on paper) because their World Cup tournament could go one of two ways. The first way is what most people are predicting: the oldest and arguably least talented squad in the tournament is going to finish last and will be lucky to score a goal.

World Cup 2018 Croatia Preview: It feels a little like ’98

Wakezilla - May 26, 2018May 26, 2018

It seems like yesterday when I was a kid watching Croatia make their World Cup debut in 1998. I remember thinking their checkered jerseys were cool. Combine those sweet uniforms with Davor Šuker's cheeky skills and I was rooting for Croatia during their magical 3rd place finish. I think there is a great

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STORNG TAEK!!1!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - November 28, 2017November 28, 2017

When I was a wee lad, I played on the town's soccer club. During practice one day, the coach noticed that a kid named T.J. was wearing a friendship bracelet on one of his wrists. This wasn't one of those elastic Livestrong things, this was one of those braided ones,

Take A Knee Zeke! It’s The Dallas Cowboys At The Bye!

Horatio Cornblower - October 16, 2017October 16, 2017

Before we get into the travesty that the Cowboys' 2017 season is about the become, a few words about Jerry Jones. Unless you were living under a rock the last couple of weeks you know that our grandstanding Vice-President, Mike "I'm Terrified Of Any Woman Not My Mother" Pence, attended

YA BETTA SUE SOMEBODAYYYY: Your [DFO] Law and Fantasy Football Mailbag

trollsoharduniversity - August 16, 2017August 19, 2017

Nazis! Suspensions! Nuclear War! Trades! What a week for questions about law and fantasy football! Unsurprisingly, most of your law questions were about our Ululating Sack Of Wet FartsDear Leader and the legal ramifications of his relentless drive to make this world an even more terrible place than it already

Executing Jameis: Your DFO Legal and Fantasy Football Mailbag

trollsoharduniversity - August 8, 2017August 8, 2017

ALL RISE! The DFO Mailbag of Law and Fantasy Football is Now In Session (please see the disclaimer at the bottom of the page). Greetings Dick Joke Enthusiasts. It's your old pal TrollSoHardUniversity. As some of you know, I'm licensed attorney and a fantasy football mastermind. Last January, I came

White Men Deserve a Break

Don T - July 4, 2017July 5, 2017

Happy Fourth of July. During lunch at work, I came across Roland Merullo's "In Defense of The White Male", published in the Boston Globe yesterday. It's reproduced below in normal font, commentary on italics. EVERYWHERE I TURN these days I encounter the term “white male,” almost always used in a pejorative

Pens-Jacks Quasi-Preview Or Some Such (mostly Ice Stillers)

WCS - April 12, 2017April 11, 2017

The Pittsburgh Ice Stillers commence their Stanley Cup title defense against the "third best" team in the Metro Division, Columbus. The Pens recorded their third-best record in franchise history with 111 points, which not only wasn't enough to win the division (piss off, Crapitals), but, has them playing the equally

Your “I Waited All Season For This?” Super Bowl and Related Entertainment Shenanigans Open Thread

scotchnaut - February 5, 2017

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As Barry Manilow would caterwaul, "Looks like we made it" to our second Super Bowl as a bunch of kid-like creatures that exist under the DFO banner. Well done everyone! [waits for ecstatic applause to die down] It just goes to show you what can be done with a wee

Celebrity Superb Owl Picks: Sean Spicer

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - February 1, 2017February 1, 2017

COWARDLY MEDIA WHORE TRADING JOURNALISTIC INTEGRITY FOR ACCESS: Good evening, and welcome to CNN. Tonight, we turn to a somewhat lighter topic than normal: picking the winner of the upcoming Super Bowl. With us tonight is professional faux-liberal doormat Alan Colmes... COLMES: Thank you. I'm just so happy to be... WHORE: And