Tag: How Does This Jerk-Off Get A Job

It’s Thursday Already? Carpenter Afternoon Hang-Out

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Maybe it's just me, but the week immediately after the Superb Owl always tend to drag a little. There's almost a sense of dread, the looming off-season is now officially here, and the build-up for the game this week isn't there. If you're Jest or The Pauls fan, it's a

Dante Hicks Tribute Carpenter Jorb

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Allegheny County 9-1-1, what's the address--- oh, so(u)rry. Force of habit and whatnot. Actually, if yinz didn't know, there's a pre-recorded bump of that message so we don't shred our vocal chords repeating it dozens of times a day. There are many other phrases we repeat dozens of times of day

Your mid-Wednesday Carpenter Jorb

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I'm taking it upon meself to throw this up. I would have earlier, but I was dealing with a litany of... Yinzerness. Plus, I can't use this is side of DFO at the PSAP. Also, we bottomed out (heh heh "bottomed out" huh huh) at -9 degrees MURICKAN this morning. Anyway,

The Voodoo He Do So Well: 2024 Stillers What-Have-You

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Yinz already know I'm going through the "life transition," and whatever. I'll take my D- on this, and be happy not be exiled to Lowratio's outhouse for a fortnight. Between my work computer not having access to funny gifs, and my home computer is suddenly quite ill, on top of everything...

Monday Morning Mock Draft: Oh Brother Where Art Thou?

Horatio Cornblower -
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I was trying to work on a different topic but it wasn't working to my exacting standards and seemed likely to age badly, so I had it step down from this week's topic nomination and reached into my 'Suggested Topics' file cabinet and pulled one from frequent contributor Rikki-Tikki-Deadly. This week

Monday Morning Mock Draft: Let’s Hit The Road

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Ok, we won't go into 'Horatio climbs mountains' again, because frankly two mentions on consecutive days is probably one mention too much.  But I did in fact spend a lot of time outdoors today going uphill, (it's pretty funny seeing my Fitness Calculator just fucking spin at how many calories

Monday Morning Mock Draft: Hey, Not So Loud!!

Horatio Cornblower -
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(I can't think of a decent featured image for this one; someone hit with me some little people!) Greetings, folks.  I write this after having gone out to dinner with some friends who know the owners of the restaurant, (and who I suspect bankrolled at least some of it), and let

Monday Morning Mock Draft: Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes!

Horatio Cornblower -
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Greetings people who are looking to avoid work on a Monday.  Today I'm avoiding it entirely, because I took the day off.  Why?  Because I realized that I have something like 360 hours of stored up vacation time and I can't cash it out, nor can I even donate it

Friday Morning Brain Farts/Carpenter Jorb

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In lieu of actual prose, here's some randomness to waste time while waiting for DJ 3000 to reload munitions from last night's operations the playlist. I semi-successfully managed to get through my first week as a 9-1-1 operator without causing any serious harm. So, that's a plus. Somehow I've managed to

Monday Morning Mock Draft: This Is The End

Horatio Cornblower -
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OK, so I'm not gonna lie:  I went out and had a few pints this afternoon and kind of forgot about this until 10:19 pm.  I then tried to get into Slack because I've got a couple of suggestions in there I was saving for just such an occasion, but