Author: The Maestro

Live from San Francisco: A Super Bowl 50 Update

The Maestro -
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*TV static crackles* We interrupt this current broadcast to bring you this important breaking news. Our field reporter on the West Coast, the illustrious Beerguyrob, has sent us this disturbing imagery directly from the historic Pier One, in downtown San Francisco. We received it late last night, and after several hours of

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro -
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I've felt out of the loop on most sports things this week. I dunno why. Apparently the Vikes-Cards game was good last night? Regardless, I've got the weekend to get myself turned around and sufficiently intoxicated on both sports and alcohol, so hope is not lost for me. Hopefully your fantasy

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro -
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I missed the Lions-Packers game last night, and I'm damn sorry I did. Because holy shit, when I got home from hockey and looked at my phone, I laughed for ten minutes after watching the last play highlights. God damn, Detroit. When Cleveland fans make fun of you - and especially

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro -
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Mmmm. Tryptophan. A hell of a drug. Hope everybody enjoyed their Thanksgivings yesterday, and kept the hand-to-hand combat to a minimum between yesterday's family gatherings and today's moronic Black Friday deals! Anyways, enough shoehorning topical #content into the intro. We need to talk essentials here. My takeaways from yesterday's matchups: Chip

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro -
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Because I'm sensible (and also busy on Thursday nights) I didn't watch the Jags-Titans game last night. But I did see some highlights this morning, and woof. Man, these Color Rush uniforms are just god-awful, and especially so for Jacksonville. Do you think it's some elaborate game that Nike's playing

24 Men On The Frozen Tundra: A CFL Playoff Preview

The Maestro -
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We're halfway through the NFL regular season, which means that things are just now starting to heat up for impending playoff races. For those teams on the bubble, these nine weeks are going to be gut-check time. There's a lot of intrigue left to be had... who knows if someone's

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro -
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Was last night the most watchable Bengals-Browns game in a long time? I don't actually know, as I didn't get a chance to watch - I was busy being a good son and picking up my parents from the airport after a three-week vacation to Australia. Regardless, was nice to

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro -
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Halloween! A time where we actively permit children to work towards developing juvenile diabetes and/or lifelong psychological trauma, while we get inappropriately drunk and develop some incredibly fucked-up fetishes from costumes that were never intended to be sexy, but still somehow are. Also, Satanists or something. I dunno. At any

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro -
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I missed last night's abortion of a game between Seattle and San Fran, so I guess that makes me one of the lucky ones. Where I haven't been lucky, so far, is in my own personal fantasy success. I'm sitting mid-pack in two of my leagues at 3-3, contending with

What The F*** Is Wrong With The Seahawks?

The Maestro -
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So the Seattle Seahawks blew yet another 4th-quarter lead in spectacular fashion yesterday, at home against the Carolina Panthers, dropping them to a very ugly 2-4. This team looks nothing like the Super Bowl contender of last season; the offence is dishevelled, the defense is confused, and overall, there's no