Half-Arsed Saturday Thread

King Hippo - February 10, 2024February 9, 2024

74

You know how some weeks, you wonder if it would be even theoretically possible to give less of a shit? That is Hippo today. And last night, when I wrote this slop. Apologies in advance. Early Bird Special is Everton getting its shit pushed in by City of Men (7:30, USA). I

Premiership and Afrika – Togetherness Saturday

King Hippo - February 3, 2024February 2, 2024

237

There being no NFL whatsoever, a man is grateful for a full EPL slate, along with the conclusion of the Afrikan Euros' Flacco Eight. Details? Here are a sparse few. Everton is your wake and bake, home to Spurs (7:30, USA). Richarlison returns to Goodison again, he will get a nice

A Bored Murrika Turns Its Eyes to AFRIKA Open Thread!

King Hippo - January 27, 2024January 27, 2024

213

Ugh, another dead/sunless Saturday. No NFL, no Prem. Just more stupid FA Cup ties, including the one I hope Everton loses to Martin Prince's Lutes (10:00, ESPN+) - because it's all hands on deck to keep hold of 17th position in the table. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0B61XAN2Ujw Fortunately, the wonky coverage of BeIn has us covered,

Void Remains, Week Two

King Hippo - January 20, 2024January 19, 2024

104

Count down the hours until Scotchy heralds in our last full NFL weekend. Oy. Another weird Prem weekend, two fixtures per day. Arsenal will likely disembowel Palace for the early risers (7:30, USA), followed by a broadcast network-televised slap fight between Robins Hood and Praise Beesus (12:30, NBC). Only one watchable game

JV NFL Finale Open Thread

King Hippo - January 8, 2024January 8, 2024

156

One last hurrah for Hippo's favoUrite banner pic! Washington (+5.5) v. Michigan (7:30, ESPN) Oh man, this line just keeps creeping up. I have a really bad feeling, and it's worse than the usual (gas). Polar opposites clash tonight. There's the smug superiority (undeserved) epitomized by the Michigan Man - of whom Lesser

Into the PeriloUs Void – Early Saturday Open Thread

King Hippo - January 6, 2024January 5, 2024

49

What, did you wake up and hope to see Premiership footy? And then JV NFL?? Too bad, you get nothing. Absolute fuckall. Well, there are FA Cup ties, though the draw was pretty uninspiring (though surely nothing can bottom out as badly as Everton's dreadful nil-nil away to Palace on Thursday, when

A Hippocratic Footballing Good-Bye to 2023

King Hippo - December 30, 2023December 29, 2023

71

Good morning, and congratulations for making it through another year of Hippo's nonsense. I will have NFL recap and JV NFL verbal diarrhea for y'all again on Monday, but that's a matter for next year. No goddamned resolutions. Self-improve or don't, but who gives a fuck about same in relation to

Feats of Festivus Strength Thread (with Some Footy)

King Hippo - December 23, 2023December 22, 2023

53

Welcome to Festivus 2023. We've all got ample complaints, I am certain. Happily, we do get an early bird special, and its David Moyes Vengeance - Fronk's Hammers hosting Wakey's Men Untied (7:30, USA). Men Untied are coming off perhaps their best effoUrt of the season, which is good. But it

Ides +1 of December Football-ganza

King Hippo - December 16, 2023December 14, 2023

47

We have lots of Premiership fun, lots of super-duper mediocre JV NFL exhibitions. Our esteemed scotchnaut will be here shortly to cover the real entertainment product of the day (so happy the Donks got picked for late night). Without further ado, this what yew git: You can sleep in, no early

Wafer Thin Mints – JV NFL Winds Down Open Thread

King Hippo - December 2, 2023December 1, 2023

135

Man, oh man. We needed a third late show here. This is some dire fucking shit. But let's get on with it. Ballsy: It's 2 AM, we're slightly drink / heavily buzzed, and that large blonde is not looking quite as large. Speaking of, B1G Twenty Soon! Title Match - Iowa (+22)

Enter December JV NFL Championship Saturday Thread

King Hippo - December 2, 2023December 1, 2023

105

Yes, all good things must come to an end. But first, we have Lesser Footy - which thankfully is fairly infinite its benevolence. No Early Bird fixture, nice of the Prem to be considerate of how late we had to stay up to watch the last PAC-tion title game. Arsenal hosting

Holiday House Saturday Lesser Footy

King Hippo - November 25, 2023November 22, 2023

238

I guess it makes sense to feature this during Thanksgiving: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9fk2aLY07o Fuck, ain't that just amazing work? Now, exit your nostalgic stupor, we've got FOOTBALL to watch. City of Men take on the filthy Redshite, bright and early (7:30, Peacock). YMMV, but I can't really bear to watch. Robins Hood and Trashbirds get the

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