Your Thursday “Asleep-At-the-Switch” Carpenter Thread

WCS - December 14, 2023December 14, 2023

Ahoy-yoy! I realized I never did a Stillers bye week report, but who cares. They're 7-6, will never beat the Patriots in any meaningful way, the offensive is broken to hell, and are somehow in currenth #6th seed. Tomlin Voodoo is real, ya'll. Just accept this. This season has been so

Your 2023 Yinzer Forecast:

WCS - August 14, 2023August 14, 2023

I apologize in advance for the litany of "Pickett's charge" memes we may be exposed to going forward. This isn't to say PICKETT'S GAHNTA SUPERBOWL all UrinatingTree style. I honestly have no clue what to make of Kenneth Shane Pickett. He looked fine at times in 2022, after Tomlin wasn't feeling like Kissing

Women’s World Cup: Here Come The Norse Saturday Night Open Thread

DFOing Good

Horatio Cornblower - July 8, 2023July 8, 2023

Editor's note: I am a bad bad Balls. I screwed up AGAIN and just realized I was supposed to write a Saturday Night Open Thread. Instead of a Karen Carpenter job, I present to you Horatio's fine Norway preview. Enjoy! The Norwegian women won the World Cup in 1995 and they've

Women’s World Cup: Is That A Great Dane In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

DFOing Good

Horatio Cornblower - July 7, 2023July 5, 2023

Fun fact, per Wikipedia, the Danish Women's National Lesser Footy team represents both Denmark and Greenland, so if you've been sitting tight on "how many Inuit does it take to get a soccer ball into a net" jokes, well, today is your day. Also you're probably a lunatic. Nicknamed The Red

Monday Morning Mock Draft: Thanks For The Hand

DFOing Good

Horatio Cornblower - June 26, 2023June 25, 2023

134

This week's suggestion of our good friend to the North, and noted aficionado of all thing hobo-population controlling, Scotchnaut. He suggested "best supporting athlete/actor ever" as a topic. He actually suggested it a while ago and I like it enough to bookmark it for a night when it was really

Monday Morning Mock Draft; Father of the, Oh Let’s Say Year For Starters

DFOing Good

Horatio Cornblower - June 19, 2023June 18, 2023

107

Happy day after Father's Day, folks. To celebrate, let's make like Internet Dad, go out of the office for cigarettes and never come back. Or, in the interests of preserving our family ties and/or ability to pay our bills, (in whichever order or the exclusions of whichever item you prefer), we

Monday Morning Mock Draft: Cool Guy Don’t Look At ‘Em

DFOing Good

Horatio Cornblower - June 5, 2023June 5, 2023

164

This week we're back to a full work week, none of that Memorial Day nonsense which makes me forget I have a job for 24 extra blessed hours. Now, how to best go about making sure I don't do that job? Why, I'll just remember to post a mock draft

Sunday (Biscuits and no) Gravy

Game Time Decision - May 28, 2023May 28, 2023

192

So, to give our esteemed yeah right a week off of these Sunday Gravy posts, I have the unenviable task of trying to fill those mixing bowls, sheet pans, measuring cup, fuck, not sure which one, if any, works. And i think this is,like, year 7 of him doing the

Horatio Does The 2023 Draft, V It’s Like 3.0 Now

DFOing Good

Horatio Cornblower - April 27, 2023April 27, 2023

610

I'm writing this Sunday, April 23rd, and of course by that I mean that I'm re-writing it on Tuesday, April 25th, because the Jets and Packers decided that three days before the draft was the perfect time to pull the trigger on the Rodgers deal and fuck me over. So

BattleBots Beat: Several Obligatory Titans Clashing Jokes…

Senor Weaselo - April 27, 2023April 27, 2023

Welcome back to the Beat! Yeah, the title I could have gone multiple ways with, so I decided on… none of them! So enjoy Skorpios vs. a car. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbDkYRnGlLk As you'd expect, Skorpios wins. Anyway, to the fights! Starchild vs. HUGEStarchild: 0-3 (L, JD 3-0 vs. Overhaul; L, JD 3-0 vs. Mammoth; L,

A Tradition Unlike Any Other (Barf): New Post-COVID (kinda)

WCS - April 6, 2023April 5, 2023

323

Hello, friends. It's a tradition unlike any other. It's The Masters. I'm Jim Nantz, and it's my distinct pleasure to bring you one of the great events in all of sports. It's Augusta National Golf Club, the Mecca of professional golf. The pride, the heritage, the racial purity. Yes, The Masters embodies

Horatio Does The 2023 Draft, V1.0

DFOing Good

Horatio Cornblower - April 3, 2023April 2, 2023

No mock draft this week, because it's time for the annual DFO Mock Draft, where I take the opportunity to take wild guesses at what teams might do in the mock draft, all while having done very little in the way of research and having no sources whatsoever. It usually