Deshaun of the Dead: Sunday Night Game Open Thread

So I've been on the road all day and have relatively little firsthand knowledge of what the shit went on this afternoon. A brief (aka halfass) recap after this important message: WOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Ok. I'm good. I'm cool. So the Bills (WOOOO!) handed the Iggles a golden opportunity to pull even

CrimeBeat!: An Existential Quandre Edition

It's that time again- time to examine the biggest NFL felonies (real or metaphorical) of the last couple of days weeks (gimme a break, new fatherhood is a bitch). It's CrimeBeat! and you will listen to EVERY LAST WORD I SAY! ACCUSED: Corbyn Nyemah CHARGE: Attempted Home Invasion, Property Damage, Cuckoldry Who is

Your Yinzer Injury Report 2019

Oh, I’m told this the Bye Week update? Screw that, title still stands. THE BENS TEEM HAS LOTS OF OWIES IN ALL OVER BODYSPOT This team had serious question marks to start this season, and like 908% of the offense has gotten hurt since the opening kick-off to start the season. 2-4

Your “More Like ‘Sneakers At The Beer Garden'” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Banner photo by Daniel Berman/www.bermanphotos.com NFL Nuggets: First game of the season, and the first officiating error against the Saints. As most of you watched, prior to the half the refs pulled an accounting error in calculating when to do the 10-second runoff, forcing the Saints to hurry their field goal

TB12Tots: Your Guide to Safely Endangering Children

Hi, I'm Tom Brady. You may remember me from giving your asshole acquaintances from Boston an undeserved sense of accomplishment for the last 18 years. People ask me, "How could you, a man generally considered bright enough to tie his own shoelaces without drooling on himself overmuch, decide that it was

Your Saturday AM Lesser Footy Thread

Good morning Lesser Footy fans! We’re at match day 34 and there are some key fixtures occurring today. First, here’s what you might have. . . *The screen goes all blurry and the sound of white noise can be heard. The camera is now clear and all you can see is a

Your “How ‘Bout A Change Of Pace?” Thursday Evening Open Thread

NFL Noise: Demaryius Thomas has been arrested for vehicular assault. He was the driver in a single-vehicle, rollover accident where a passenger was hurt. Under Colorado law, “vehicular assault” occurs when a person drives recklessly or under the influence of alcohol and the driving causes serious bodily injury to another

Orchids of Asia Day Spa Report Context

  Good Morning and thank you all for being our here today on such a chilly Boston morning. I am speaking before you this morning to share valuable insight regarding last week's allegations that my boyfriend of seven years but not father of my 10 month old child, Mr Robert Kraft, will

CrimeBeat!: Patriots Schadenfreude Day Edition

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh dear...it's so sweet it should come with a vial of insulin...I though "ROFL" was just an expression.... Brothers and sisters, we live in an Age of Common Wonders.  We can talk instantaneously to someone on the other side of the planet and we think nothing of it. We have computers