Assholes

Pissing Up God’s Flagpole: Your 2019 Detroit Lions Preview

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
16

[Author's Note: So this is it. The End. The final preview before the NFL meat grinder spins up to turn convert the bodies of healthy(ish) young men into Entertainment. Après moi le déluge de merde. Get hype.] Wyandotte. Shit. I'm only in Wyandotte. Every time, I think I'm going to wake up back in Midtown.... Everyone

Your “We Should All Be So Lucky” Monday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob -
80

NFL Nuggets: Andrew Luck updates: The Colts are letting him keep his bonus money from the last contract signing. It amounts to $16.8 million, since he had three years left on the five-year extension he signed in 2016. There are rumours that Jim Irsay has known for a (little) while

Your “Perhaps Lesser Footy is better than Greater Footy after all” Thread

Wakezilla -
136

Good morning everyone! By the time this post airs, your pal Wakezilla will be up and atom, off on his vacation to Portland, Oregon, followed by staying in a cabin at CanNon Beach (Oregon's coast). Jesus, I have never deserved a vacation more than this year. I got promoted in April

No One’s Chargers 2019 Preview: Top Bolt

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers -
20

INTERIOR - CHARGERS WAR ROOM, MIRA MAR, CA - MIDDAY MAJ. TOM TELESCO: [Walking in] Good morning Tony. COMM. ANTHONY LYNN: Morning Tom. RADIO: Ghost Audience, we have an unknown aircraft entering our airspace. Vector 405 for bogey. TELESCO: Who's up there? LYNN: Rivers, Gordon, Bosa and Allen. EXTERIOR - THE SKIES ABOVE SAN DIEGO COUNTY CAPT. RIVERS: YOU BETTER ASK SOMEBODDDDDYYYYYY

Tripping Over The Light Fantastic; or A Desperate Plié: Your All-Dancing 2019 Buffalo Bills Season Preview

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
20

[Author's Note: As promised/threatened, this year's Buffalo Bills Season Preview will be conducted in the medium of interpretive dance. Yes, I know it's particularly inappropriate for Buffalo, which has no cheerleaders but a thriving post-angioplasty community.  Expand your minds and get some culture, you barbarian savages.] Your 2018 Buffalo Bills: 6-10,

Santa Clara Diet: A San Francisco 49ers Preview

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
11

[Author's Note: In support of DFO's efforts to maintain its position at the bleeding edge of Blog Innovation, I have chosen to conduct this preview as a Pre-Post-Modern Impressionist visual meditation on man's inhumanity to man. Please tune in tomorrow for the Bills preview, which will be in the form

Your 2019 Stillers Preview

WCS -
10

I'm supposed to preview the 2019 Steelers. Let me start with this:   This entire division makes less sense than Drumpf's cabinet. People are talking about the Browns to be good? I trust (hashtag The Pauls) to be successful less than I trust Charlie Kelly can read.   Our dear friend Redshirt let us

TB12Tots: Your Guide to Safely Endangering Children

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
17

Hi, I'm Tom Brady. You may remember me from giving your asshole acquaintances from Boston an undeserved sense of accomplishment for the last 18 years. People ask me, "How could you, a man generally considered bright enough to tie his own shoelaces without drooling on himself overmuch, decide that it was

Your Saturday Evening “It Looks Bad If We Leave Them There” Open Thread

Beerguyrob -
108

We are well into summer now, and I want to vent about something: lost tourists. Now, I don't want to complain about the driving type of lost tourist. That's honest, and at least they are trying to follow a map. No, I want to complain about the type of lost tourist that

Los Fanáticos Argentinos Reaccionan Razonablemente

ballsofsteelandfury -
11

Balls Note: As a result of a special request from King Hippo, I'm doing this post entirely in Spanish. Take it as an opportunity to practice and learn something new! Special thanks to Don T for providing the images you will shortly enjoy. ¡Buenos días, mis amigos! Estoy

TWIFY: Qatar. Today’s Copa América team Preview

Wakezilla -
30

 Wakezilla sitting in the back of a limo while his driver, a black male, has a stressed look on his face, is driving on Salwa road in Doha, Qatar. Wakezilla: Marhaba! Assalamu Alaikum my DFO friends! Your pal Wakezilla recently got a life changing promotion that required me to move to