Bay Area Body Bags: 2024 San Francisco 49ers Bye Week (and Open Thread)

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - November 12, 2024November 12, 2024

AUTHORS NOTE: You may be wondering why I am writing the Niners Bye Week Update a week after their bye. The simple answer is that America had Kind of A Lot Going On Right Now last week, and the ups and downs of the Santa Clara Failsons just didn't register

The Voodoo He Do So Well: 2024 Stillers What-Have-You

WCS - September 8, 2024September 8, 2024

Yinz already know I'm going through the "life transition," and whatever. I'll take my D- on this, and be happy not be exiled to Lowratio's outhouse for a fortnight. Between my work computer not having access to funny gifs, and my home computer is suddenly quite ill, on top of everything...

Roach at the Hen Dance: 2024 Titans Preview

Don T - September 7, 2024September 8, 2024

About 20 teams dominate NFL discourse in all its manifestations, from yelling between fans to the hurling of fecal hashtags, and even “Letter to a Young Me” vomitives. By contrast, AFC South teams are the kids’ table of the National Football Lee, and the Titans are the stinky introvert who

A Very Denver Broncos Season Preview

Alex_Demote - September 5, 2024September 4, 2024

Broncos fans have left behind the "Let's Ride" motto in favor of "It's Bo Time," a slogan long employed by southern regional fried chicken powerhouse Bojangles. This definitively sideways trade is perfectly indicative of the overall sideways movement of both our roster construction and performance outlook this season. Maybe that's

Nobody’s Chargers 2024 Season Preview: Payin’ for it

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - September 4, 2024September 5, 2024

INTERIOR – CHARGERS PRACTICE FACILITY BOARD ROOM, COSTA MESA, CA – MORNING, SEVEN MONTHS AGO DEAN SPANOS: [On the phone] Look, John, it's just like my Daddy used to say, "if the city won't pay, fuck 'em and move!" [Laughs too hard] [Garbled phone response] DEAN: Right?! That place is an absolute dump anyway.

The Literal AI-Generated Headline is – Indianapolis Colts: A Season of Transition

Team Previews

blaxabbath - September 2, 2024August 30, 2024

I did a Colts preview a few years ago (I think it's a relevant read) and, the days being COVID (well, there's a virus and then I guess it's actually still around. I just can't seem to get any space in line anywhere anymore so, you know, hooray for vaccinations

Walking the Walk with a Withered Leg – Ravens Preseason Punchout

Team Previews

jjfozz - August 29, 2024August 29, 2024

See that sentence? I just tore my ACL, sprained my thumb, and suffered a hamstring injury where the tendon unfurled like a flag, burst through my skin and waved around like a kraken’s tentacle. Yes, this is the life of a Ravens fan over the past many years – injuries. Injuries

Purdy Crazy Out There: 2024 San Francisco 49ers Season Preview (and Open Thread)

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - August 27, 2024August 27, 2024

2023 PREDICTION: None. Which is probably good since I would have fallen short of the 2023 REALITY: 12-5; lost the Super Bowl in a thrilling overtime display to Taylor Swift The 2023 season was about as good as it gets for the Niners, sans the ring. In games where they were trying,

Great Expectations Eagles 2024 Preview

litre_cola - August 27, 2024August 27, 2024

Fall is coming as are my roller coaster of emotions during the NFL season. Can't wait. Last year the Iggles came out of the gates with a 10-1 record, if you watched any of the games they were not convincing in any way, shape or form. They were frauds, and the

Perfection: Mercury Morris will cry after reading your ’24 Dolphins Preview

Wakezilla - August 23, 2024August 23, 2024

Dolllllllllllphinnnnnnnnnnnnnnssssss! Hey fellow DFOers! I apologize for the lateness of this post, and my overall disappearance. You see, Bill Belicheck was just a few wins away from breaking Coach Shula's all-time win record (Peace Be upon him) and I knew I had to act before it was too late. So, I

“Any Presentation Can Be A Preview” – A 2024 Seahawks Preview

Beerguyrob - August 22, 2024August 17, 2024

Hi again, I'm back again, but this time to provide some sort of preview for the team I see most often - the Seattle Seahawks. Having been a season ticket holder since 2010, all I've ever known as a "valued part of the Seattle Seahawks"©®™ is Pete Carroll as the team's head coach. And

The Party’s Over… For Now, At Least: Your 2024 New England Patriots Season Preview

The Maestro - August 22, 2024August 15, 2024

Last season was the nadir of the New England Patriots. It had to be. It MUST be. After utter disaster on the field and the departure of the greatest head coach in the history of football, it was clearly time for a complete and total rebuild of the entire organization.