The NFL Dating Game!

yeah right - May 7, 2018

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNJurbIDEpU Voice over: "It's time to play...The NFL Dating Game! Now Let's welcome the host of our show...The Ghost of Jim Lange!" [audience applause] Ghost of Jim Lange: "Hi Everybody! Welcome back to our show! We've got a great contestant lined up today and three handsome available NFL bachelors just waiting for their chance to

Raging Semi Tuesday – Roma at [grumble, grumble]

King Hippo - April 24, 2018April 24, 2018

Let's blow that up a little. Because it deserves it. A beautiful Cinderella story spoiled by essentially gifting the assdickery Redshite into the finals. Christ on a bike. Liverpool is the worst. You can hear German Elton John whining all the way down here in the Southland. You know the questionable calls

Gravy Boat Ruins Derby Day (Also Whiny Baby German Elton John)

King Hippo - April 7, 2018April 6, 2018

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Oh yeah, Man City can also clinch their foregone conclusion Premiership title with a home Manchester Derby win (which would be pretty fookin' sweet for them, if not coming off a humiliating hiding in the Champions League quarters). That will be on big NBC at 12:30, and everyone will watch.

Roger Goodell’s Reported Time of 5.41s in the 40 Yard Dash is a Disgraceful Lie

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - March 8, 2018March 8, 2018

Like many people who were fairly fast runners in their youth, I thought I'd be capable of running the forty yard dash in less than five seconds. Sure, there's plenty of NFL-caliber players in the NFL who can't, but most of those are offensive linemen and run-stuffing nose tackles. But

Champions League Lesser Footy: Hump Day Edition Roundtable

Wakezilla - February 21, 2018February 21, 2018

Happy Hump Day everyone! Listen to her "singing" here. I can't imagine how she could have butchered the National Anthem We have a special edition of Champions League lesser footy today. England's lesser footy equivalent of the P*triots, Manchester United, play Sevilla. Oh, there's so many reasons to hate these crumpet eating

Offseason Qb Interviews! – Miami edition.

litre_cola - February 21, 2018February 20, 2018

Yeaahhhh Miami, I have to say I've been looking forward to this because I love smoking and hot women. Who wouldn’t want to play here? After an injury to Tannehill last year they brought in one of DFO’s favoUrites. I hope the cat hasn’t taken his laissez faire attitude elsewhere.

Champions League Lesser Footy! 13 February Fixtures Roundtable

King Hippo - February 13, 2018February 12, 2018

King Hippo: I have been chosen to kick off festivities, which means you will get the simplest of formatting. Lucky youse. *** Manchester City @ FC Basel (2:45 EST, FS2) King Hippo: Easy preview first - teh snuff film. FC Basel ain't even in first in the goddamned Swiss League this season, whilst Man City is

Evil Celebrity Pickakke

Wakezilla - February 3, 2018February 2, 2018

This year’s Superb owl features Satan’s favorite team—the New England Patriots—playing against the Philadelphia Eagles, whose fan base happens to be her favorite. Factor in Donald Trump being president, and this year’s celebrity pickakke should be evil and bad. It’s what we deserve. . . Hello fellow DFOers, I dipped into

Your “DFO Super Bowl Hate Week” Thursday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob - February 1, 2018February 1, 2018

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All photoshops courtesy of Low Commander Welcome to the fourth night of the Second Annual DFO Hate Week, brought to you by hypocritical Midwestern values, lutefisk, and the Plow King. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCl-HXllGI0 Tonight we discuss the worst aspect of the NFL experience - rabid fan bases. Of course, any discussion of NFL fans must, legally,

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Non-Super Sunday Edition (2017 Season)

King Hippo - January 22, 2018January 21, 2018

This will be the last edition of this column for the season, as the prophecy is ended and I have no interest in repeating last season. Stupid Doug Marrone. Our beloved Jaguras, despite the even week, had the P*ts beat. They were clearly the better side, and had a fantastic gameplan that

DFO Coaching Carousel 2017 Edition

ballsofsteelandfury - December 27, 2017December 26, 2017

The rumors are starting to heat up in advance of Week 17 games. Given that a lot of decisions are made immediately after the last game of the season, I've decided to go through each team to see what the outlook is for the coach instead of reacting after the

Hope Clicks Eternal – The Oakland Raiders

Beerguyrob - December 21, 2017December 21, 2017

Honestly, after watching the games this weekend, I really wanted to do the Chargers or the Seahawks. But the Dirt Clippers did themselves with the move to LA, and they both deserve their pain & are all-but-dead to this site, so I don't even want to cover their misery. The