Offseason stories

A Chance Encounter on the Trail

blaxabbath -
11

Echo Canyon Trail. Paradise Valley, Arizona. 9:15 A.M. The weather was beautiful. It was turning into a why you live here kind of day, Michael Bidwill thought. In his favorite shorts and hiking top outfit (complete with lucky Georgetown Prepatory Academy neckerchief), he approached the bouldering section of the hike with

Ding Dong, Aaron Donald Is Gone (2024 RAMMITT Preview)

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris -
13

It’s finally happened.  After threatening to retire for what seems like every offseason of his career, Aaron Donald, the most terrifying defensive lineman in recent history, has fucked off to do whatever enormous rich people do when they retire.  The Rams are about to find out what happens when they

Friday Morning Brain Farts/Carpenter Jorb

WCS -
15

In lieu of actual prose, here's some randomness to waste time while waiting for DJ 3000 to reload munitions from last night's operations the playlist. I semi-successfully managed to get through my first week as a 9-1-1 operator without causing any serious harm. So, that's a plus. Somehow I've managed to

Oh Boy! This guy again?

litre_cola -
76

  Punches back into content mine.      Well hello there, I hope you're keeping well, it’s been awhile. As it's the offseason and I currently am in a funk at work I decided to punch back in to do something creative ON COMPANY TIME.  Here is a random picture of someone who is popular

By Popular Demand: College Football Realignment

ballsofsteelandfury -
54

Welcome to a new series in which I take your post ideas and run with them. Today's topic: College Football Realignment. I am nothing if not a people pleaser.  Due to popular demand (yes, Blax is popular!), I am presenting you with my HOT TAEK on college football realignment. As I was prepping

A Thursday Afternoon Carpenter Existential Experience!

WCS -
36

Greetings, hola, guten tag, ni how, and yadda yadda. I swear the month of February exists only to mess with people's sense of time, space, and perception. 2024 is already six weeks old, we never really had winter in Yinzburgh, and I can't tell if the days are getting longer (sort

Your “How the Hell Is it Mardi Gras?” Open Night Chatty-Chat

WCS -
46

Seriously. T-Swift can'y even stand yet after post-Owl celebrations her and Travis have been doing, and it's friggin' Lent tomorrow. On Valentine's Day! Anyway, it's Mardi Gras tonight, so NAWLINS had to have been weirder than normal this past weekend/week. I'm grew up Catholic, and now generously describe myself as "lapsed" at

Ballsy’s Mock Draft for 2024

ballsofsteelandfury -
25

Do not worry. I am not treading on Horatio's turf. I do enough of that with my AVN Awards prediction post. You will get no insights into which player each team is picking beyond me telling you that the Commanders are getting yet another disappointing USC QB and the Steelers will

Your 2023 Yinzer Forecast:

WCS -
46

I apologize in advance for the litany of "Pickett's charge" memes we may be exposed to going forward. This isn't to say PICKETT'S GAHNTA SUPERBOWL all UrinatingTree style. I honestly have no clue what to make of Kenneth Shane Pickett. He looked fine at times in 2022, after Tomlin wasn't feeling like Kissing

Chapter 5: Alive in Dove Valley

Alex_Demote -
22

[chapter 1] [chapter 2] [chapter 3] [chapter 4]   Russell Wilson awoke to the sound of Sports Center. Clean white sheets and sanitary plastic bed-rails enshrined him. He heard the sound of his daughter enjoying a game on her iPad, and his wife trying not to argue with a nurse. An oxygen mask sat snugly

Chapter 4: Beneath Dove Valley

Alex_Demote -
24

[chapter 1] [chapter 2] [chapter 3] ---------- Russell Wilson awoke to the sensation of dripping water. As his hands searched for purchase on the slick stone floor, they scraped across several crusty pores and sharp cracks in the uneven surface. He picked himself up slowly, stifling a cough and begging for relief from his