Your Thursday “Asleep-At-the-Switch” Carpenter Thread

Ahoy-yoy!   I realized I never did a Stillers bye week report, but who cares. They're 7-6, will never beat the Patriots in any meaningful way, the offensive is broken to hell, and are somehow in currenth #6th seed. Tomlin Voodoo is real, ya'll. Just accept this. This season has been so

Ballsy’s Cocktail of the Week: Filling in the Mexican Way…

As y'all may know, Sharky is out in our nation's Island State enjoying the sunshine, ocean, and resort drinks. While he's out there living life right with the Shark Clan, I thought I would step in with a Mexican drink you may or may not have heard of. It's easily

Expectations or maybe I just need another beer: New Orleans Saints bye week update

Start here... What is expectation?  A dream, an illusion? A stone dead goddamn lie? When you expect something to happen, it never does. Expectations are like you're imagining something, I will be happy, I will be pretty.  Knowing full well that nothing, Nothing, ever goes as planned. Expectation implies envisioning your lottery dream,

Vikings Team Preview: The Defense gets Addressed.

banner image via [intro Vikings team quarters] /Coach Kevin O'Connell addresses the entire team Coach O'Connell: "Holy geez guys! We're gonna have a super swell season this year!" Idiot QB: "Oh heck ya! It's gonna be super swell!" CO: "Oh heck ya. Super sweet!" IQB: "Super sweet!" CO: "Guys? I'm just gonna tell ya, I'm soo jazzed

Nobody’s Chargers 2023 Season Preview: The Happiest Place

INTERIOR – DISNEYLAND PARKING LOT, ANAHEIM, CA – MORNING JUSTIN HERBERT: Oh boy oh boy! I'm so excited to finally get that authentic Hollywood experience! Somewhere where I can be just like all the locals! I can't wait to try Wolfgang Puck's for lunch! [Looks around the otherwise empty parking lot with

No Exit: Your 2023 New England Patriots Season Preview

SCENE: A locker room in retro Foxboro Stadium style. A massive, oversized, but dinged up Lombardi Trophy stands alone in a dusty display case.   ROBERT KRAFT [enters, accompanied by the LOCKER ROOM ATTENDANT, and glances around him]: Hm! So here we are?  LOCKER ROOM ATTENDANT: Yes, Mr. Kraft.  KRAFT: And this is what

Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo Presents the [Door Flies Open] 2023 Guide to Fantasy Football Names!

Long-winded? Yes. Self-explanatory? Also yes. Will I still explain it? Third yes. Welcome to a longstanding tradition passed down the years through various websites that we have cared to frequent. It's your guide to fantasy football names! I'm your host, Senor Weaselo. A good fantasy football team name has many things. Humor,

Saints Preview/ Nobody knows where he came from and nobody cared.

As the morning fog lifts we are able to see a building with a strange figure knocking at a solitary door. From inside a voice is heard asking "Who are you? What do you want?" The figure outside speaks from a different plane in reality and says “You have to invite me in” From

Your 2023 Yinzer Forecast:

I apologize in advance for the litany of "Pickett's charge" memes we may be exposed to going forward. This isn't to say PICKETT'S GAHNTA SUPERBOWL all UrinatingTree style. I honestly have no clue what to make of Kenneth Shane Pickett. He looked fine at times in 2022, after Tomlin wasn't feeling like Kissing

Sunday Gravy with DJ TAJ: A Swing and a Miss

As the scene opens we see an old man who can’t say no sitting naked on a couch watching a 90 year old Joan Crawford movie, giggling like a loon and screaming to the sky about filling all dreams with electricity. When suddenly, there comes a knock upon the door. The